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This is drastically different from my first flash attempt…. inspired by the movie Show Girls.

I love getting A’s for nonsense.

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Don’t forget you can tune in L I V E every saturday at 6:45pm at Free Radio SAIC or subscribe this podcast on iTunes.

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Bothered by his own inherited white superiority, Wilson uses his sense of humor to help others realize the truth of our society and our obsession with whiteness in Default Avatars (2010). “You know its sad when a Japanese toy company designs its 3D models to look exactly like me!” Wilson comments as he refers to the Nintendo Wii’s main avatar. In this video, Wilson conveys how the Nintendo standard male icon eerily looks identical to him.

It is important to note, that no major manipulation was needed to assist with this particular demo. Every Nintendo Wii game counsel is equipped with this default avatar before the user is allowed to change its gender, body type, skin color, hair, and facial features. “I think its a joke that more people don’t complain about things like this, but it often goes unnoticed. It would be alarming if the default were fat and had dark skin.” The piece is a clever comment on commercial industries.

Be sure to support Wilson’s efforts by voting for him in the Artists Wanted Competition.

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There is an ongoing tradition in black films to be realistically dramatic. Precious director Lee Daniels has designed a formula for being “more real” than needed. In 2001’s Monster’s Ball, Daniels encouraged an eager Halle Berry to get knee-deep in the project which had her exposed both emotionally and physically. She screamed, fought, and sexed her way to an Oscar. Her portrayal of a suffering African-American woman was considered a triumph for the one-time beauty pageant queen. There was nothing unique about her performance other than it was unusual for her. Daniels insisted on showing as much detail about Halle’s character by visually exploiting her. Audiences saw her completely naked as she portrayed a familiar crazily upset black woman.

This has been done too many times before. In 1998’s Beloved directed by Jonathan Demme, Thandy Newton is seen wildly naked and unshaven multiple times before her loony character was finally vanquished. What is Hollywood’s obsession with crazy black women?

Daniels featured contribution to the trend comes from comedienne and television personality Mo’Nique who plays Mary, the abusive mother of Precious who justifies her physical, verbal, and sexual assaults on her daughter for the loss of her boyfriend. Not allowed to wear makeup, Mo’Nique channels an outraged character whose anger isn’t easily understood. She is just angry. What’s sad is that given her physical appearance, it is expected. It is not unusual to see a poor angery black woman anymore. The culture has devolved enough so that most people have seen this character played before. In order to distinguish Mo’Nique from comparison, the make-up team utilizes fake teeth and special lighting for the actress to make her look more devastating. It is a shallow attempt to enrich the authenticity of this black character. Mon’Nique’s pathetic change of wigs, paired with scenes of mishandling children, are a baffling look at what people might assume is true of black women. Daniel’s motivation to portray such characters in this light is shallow and does very little to uplift the viewers of his film.

The title character Precious is also forced to drop out of high school and attempts to resume her education at a free alternative institution. Despite having two children (by her father) with limited support from her mother’s welfare checks, she is able to read and write by the film’s conclusion. It is sad but like many other black characters who have graced the silver screen, Precious is illiterate. Illiteracy has been a socially accepted stereotype of black characters since the creation of the moving picture. Various films with black characters feature this myth that black people are not as book smart as their white peers. In 1997’s Money Talks, we learn from Chris Tucker that P.H.A.T. means Pretty Hot And Tempting after he insults the wife of a politician with a sexist comment about her backside. In 2009’s Transformers II, two urban robots (who were given a black dialect courtesy of a white actor) admitted, “We don’t read much,” after being asked to assist in reading a robot script. This stereotype shifts in all aspects of the portrayal of blacks. Precious is no exception.

The bottom line is that the public should wait to rejoice about a film that can be both moving and uplifting to the community that it focuses on. If films such as Precious are continuously produced without criticism, the black community is doomed to face many more decades of degrading portrayals that offer little insight into the life of the Black American.

Okay, that is clearly a lie but you should still subscribe on iTunes.

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Unlike sports and politics, art affects everyone indirectly. It dictates everything from how a building is constructed to how food is served. It affects the color of daily life and motivates people to make choices. Art is vague. It is big enough to be everything and small enough to be anything. Art journalism sets boundaries for what is to be called art. It does this by igniting discussion within communities. This then challenges the individual to make the final decision about what they are exposed to. Art journalism is needed to separate the ordinary from the life-changing while defining the gray area left in between. Through the use of critique, review and feature, art journalism can revive or destroy any exhibit of art for the sake of affecting the public.

Without the presence of art journalism, art barely exists. It is an easily overlooked cultural item that must compete with entertaining distractions. The working artist is sure to fade without the support of these journalists that understand his or her plight. Although art may not be important to everyone, its effect must still be evaluated by a knowledgeable informant who has a duty to link the public to the art world.

In regards to the world of journalism, art journalists fight to keep their heads above water. Assigned to write about what may feel to be the distant art world, art journalists exist within journalism to offer intelligent and tailored expertise on this subject. It is irrational to assume that a generic writer without specialized interest can offer the same kind of reading experience that a trained art journalist can. Yet, many full-time talents have been released from their positions to be replaced by less knowledgeable writers who can only offer meager descriptions paired with possible misinterpretations of the artist. The role of art journalism within the world of journalism can be compared to the importance of sport journalism. Both have to report on the intangible experiences of art, as well as form relationships with the key players in the respected industries. As with sports journalism, art journalism characterizes the important people within the community. The buyers, the curators, the artists, and the museums are parallel to the managers, the coaches, the players, and the stadiums. Both are trusted to report insider facts on all aspects of the field. Both assist in determining the readership and fan base of a publication. So why isn’t sports journalism feeling the same lack of respect?

As the worlds of art and journalism evolve, the role of art journalism will remain the same. Art will be redefined with time, and journalism will mutate into a more marketable product. Art journalism will and should be present, holding their hands to take the journey together.

One of my best friends in Chicago is my radio show co-host and fashion designer Neha Khanna. I love this chick and we take cute pictures together:

I was surfing around on facebook and gasped when I saw this:

Is this not the spookiest thing you have ever seen?! Say yes.

[my other look-a-likes]

Overall, I think five guys is Michelle-Obama-Amazing compared to the other sobering spots in Chicago (we can call those Laura-Bushes). I’m not the hugest fan of the french fries because they are too potatoey for me, BUT then again you’re not seeking fine dining after midnight when its 10 degrees outside! For location and menu information visit their website.

Samesies!

PISH POSH

I realized very early in my career as a fitness trainer that the fitness industry is quick money and an easy way to take advantage of people. So it’s only right to include a few posts this week dedicated to helping you accomplish your health goals while being a smart shopper in the process.

But first, look at this picture of me.

I’m more conceited in 2010.

Before you do anything major to your eating regimen, consider the following:

Portion Control: This is really iffy because your eyes can be deceiving. A good trick to use is to order or prepare conservative portions knowing that you can always eat more if you are not full. A lot of times we get a lot of food in front of us and feel obligated to consume most if not all of it. I personally struggle with over eating because I’m addicted to feeling full. I learned recently that if you wait 15-20 minutes after eating a meal you can accurately determine your level of hunger and avoid over-eating. If you are still hungry afterwords, EAT. Starving your body is a dumb move since it will cause your body to steal nutrients from your bones and muscles in order to function.

Lunch: Plan what you are having for lunch 24 hours in advance. Regardless if you are bringing it or buying it, knowing it will alleviate any lunch time anxiety and make for a more pleasant meal. It will also help you stay on track if you are counting calories or changing your diet.

Soda Pop and Liquor: I am personally ignoring this one because I love alcohol at the moment BUT most people experience drastic physical changes when they omit these liquids out of their diet. They make your body highly acidic which weakens your immune and digestion systems. Also, the loss of the sugar and alcohol makes for better and more fulfilling workouts.

Water: It is the best gift from God that anyone could ever ask for (other than Britney Spears circa 2001). I drink insane amounts of water and I even remix that ish with lemon, cucumbers, or even sliced strawberries to maximize the cleansing properties. If you’re not a heavy water drinker, just try it. I swear on Britney’s comeback you’ll notice a difference in everything.

Myths About Dinner: Whatever you intend to do about your night time meals just remember one rule: Eat if you are hungry! Some say that eating after a certain hour is bad. Well, it is only bad if you go to sleep right after. If you are a night owl, your body is probably already adjusted so that you CAN eat late at night. Never go to bed thinking about food, it will distress your sleep.

Sleep: You might not think that sleep has anything to do with your body, but it does, shorty. Each night you should be able to fall asleep and wake up naturally without the need for an alarm. Most American’s can’t do that so you’re goal is to make changes so that you will eventually be able to achieve it. Last year, I made the resolution to fix my sleeping problem. I accomplished this by trading in my TV for a book. I have yet to finish the book because I pass out almost immediately from its boredom. (It has no pictures… I know, right?) I do keep an alarm clock but usually can wake up 5 to 30 minutes before it goes off. The most important change I noticed from getting my sleep in check was that I stopped getting tired after eating. I also didn’t need to eat as much throughout the day because my body wasn’t lacking energy.

If you find that you need or would like more assistance in getting your eating in check, consider working with a dietitian. They have a wealth of food knowledge and high tech gadgets designed to help you with planning your options. Also, I would recommend weight watchers. I have never used it but have seen the results of people who have. Stay away from diet systems and pills that process to let you eat whatever you want by giving you “special meals” that help you lose weight. They are artificial, over priced, and will destroy your insides.

Remember: If you want this, do it right, and be safe. There are no shortcuts. (Ironically enough, this also applies to “other” activities concerning the body.)

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DRESS CODE 2009
Friday, Oct. 23
Millennium Park, Chicago

F Newsmagazine and NDH attend Fashion Focus Chicago to see Dress Code 2009. The runway debut of top students from Chicago’s fashion design schools: The School of the Art Institute Chicago, Columbia College Chicago, The Illinois Institute of Art–Chicago and The International Academy of Design & Technology Chicago.

Interviews/Concept by Quintin Roper
Camera/Edit by Casilda Sánchez

[clearing throat] Me.

One year ago, Britney Spears was still recovering from a major meltdown and regaining the trust of her fans who were left shaky after her failed attempt at a comeback with the critically acclaimed Blackout album. Moving on to Circus, her sixth studio album, she razzled and dazzled to the best of her ability with safe pop tracks, limited promotion, and a mediocre tour. It was enough to keep the die-hards happy while she received medical attention and a much needed recovery that kept her away from interviews, live broadcasts, and further media scrutiny. With the latest release of “3″, it appears that Spears is ready to take charge as Forbes Magazine’s second most powerful musician.

According to Digital Spy Magazine, “3″ is a “pure pop with a soupçon of controversy” as it flirts with the idea of having a threesome. Sure, Spears has been teasing audiences since her debut in 2000 with sexual hints and mischievous allusions but in this track she spell it out. She even goes on to name “Peter, Paul, and Mary,” which some might think is a biblical reference as she sings, “Living in sin is the new thing.” But Clark Collis of Entertainment Weekly, who sides with the older generation of music fans, points out in a review that it “is an unfortunate [mentioning of the legendary folk group] given the very recent death of Mary Travers.”

The song is a basic hypnotic chant supported by synthesized vocals and the infamous auto-tune technology. Spears’ voice is variably monotone, which extends its shelf-life for intoxicated karaoke worldwide. Her singing is well-harmonized but barely escapes the typical whiny and nasally nursery rhyme motif that has been dominating the pop scene for the past decade with chart toppers such as Kristina Debarge’s “Goodbye,” Rhianna’s “Umbrella” and Spears’ previous single “If You Seek Amy.” Spears does not reinvent the wheel. “The bottom line is this is another irresistibly catchy pop confection that beats out most everything else on pop radio today,” explains Bill Lamb, music editor at About.com.

The lyrics are simple and humorous, with an adult attitude that emerges from Spears’ newly authentic vixen persona. Although it mentions playing “Twister on the floor,” “3″ is not about games. Unlike Slave 4 U and Radar, which left audiences to discover the endless innuendo possibilities, the song is upfront with all puns intended. With an orgasmic moan repeated throughout, the song indicates a new post-pop-tart era that frees Britney Spears from any responsibility as a role model.

Written by Max Martin, who also wrote “Oops… I Did It Again,” the song features a heavy, unapologetic, club anthem that is reminiscent of the work of DJ Luke Skywalker of the early 1990’s. Listeners will hear a futuristic rush of keyboard riffs, combined with inventive drum manipulations and bass syncopation. The song is musically dynamic as the hook, chorus, verse and bridge are each individually supported by their own unique melodies that flow into and from one another. (It is a basic formula for a pop song designed to prolong the life of the Britney Spears brand.) It’s catchy enough to survive public scrutiny and buys Spears time to prepare for her next album release. It is a gear-shifting song for the singer who once used to sing “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.”

Will people like this new version of BS? So far the track has already shot to number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100, an accomplishment Spears has only done twice before with Baby One More Time and Womanizer. Perhaps that the 27-year-old-mother of two can keep up this momentum while audiences remain hyped about her bounce back from the dark side.

Side Note: The original version of this before it was edited was more bias than Dolly Parton judging a wet t-shirt contest.

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It sucked. It thoroughly sucked. It sucked harder than a new vacuum cleaner on a towel. The experience killed my spirit and my school adviser made me see a psychologist. After a few months, I finally got over it and decided not to move forward with the article I was going to have published in FNews Magazine. I did, however, illegally twitpic through the entire rehearsal process.

 

I try to forget that following day of taping. I’ve only told a handful of friends what the experience was like. I’ve been hyping up Oprah since age 0 so when the actual show turned out to be a let down, I was disappointed… The dancers, which included a serious number of professionals, were treated poorly, it was disorganized, and Oprah looked like the Christmas ornament that didn’t make it on the tree this season. If you recall, she made a public announcement that she “fell off track” and gained weight by eating Organic Blue Corn Chips. (I’ sure she said more than that, but its a fair summary… I’m a journalist.)

After talking to the shrink, I learned that:
1. Oprah symbolized a childhood dream that I am working towards so when it fell apart, I reacted as if my dream died.
2. I cannot stand it when people get more attention than me, even if it is Fergie Ferg.
3. I don’t understand rich people who complain about being fat (which isn’t a bad thing to be, everyone’s body type is different).
4. I resented the fact that I worked several hours without pay.
5. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I completely sold out.

I still respect Oprah but she’s out of the running of being Quintin’s Next Top Hero. That dream of being a featured guest on her show that would eventually get his own spin-off talk show is kaput. And I accept that. It just means that my hustle needs to get bigger, better, faster, stronger, harder, and blacker than ever. And we all know how much I love blackness. ;)

 

The Panel:

QXR Art Journalist

Nicole Briggs Shrink Boutique

Courtney Williams Public Relations

What would you like to see happen with Chicago Fashion?

You can tell from the name where this story is headed….

One day, I reported to the burbs to teach a youth group a routine I had created for their annual talent showcase. It was 10 boys and 11 girls who were oober excited to know that yours truly was going to have them shining like diamonds. Two breaks and three run-throughs later, Miss Dalannah decides to grace us with her presence.

She walked up to the stage, front and center as if she already knew the routine.
Me: Hi. Are you performing with this group?
Dalannah: Who is you?
Me: I’m the choreographer. And you are going to have to go to the back until you learn the routine.
Dalannah: Ha. Fool, whatever.
Me: Whatever???
Dalannah: Damn you ugly.

The room fills with laughter. Rehearsal ends shortly after but it takes me another 30 minutes to pick up my face from the floor. I knew that I wasn’t ugly. She said that to hurt me. And it did. It hurt me.

I spent the next few days reflecting on what this child had said to me. It was life changing. I mean, sure, I don’t get every audition and the romantic life is a joke, but I have never had anyone flat out tell me that I was… the u word.

I was enraged, but I got myself back in check for the next rehearsal. I wasn’t about to let some BeBe kid get me. She wants to talk like she grown, she get dealt with like she grown.

An hour goes by, and the group has not only learned the routine, but I can’t even get them to take a break because they are having so much fun… Until… Dalannah walks in carrying her see-through purse and a bag of Flaming Hots.

Dalannah: What I miss?
Me: The entire routine.
Dalannah: Oh, so I guess you need to start teaching it to me.
Me: After you get all of that red Cheeto residue off your face.
Dalannah: Who are you talking to?
Me: Not Much.
Crowd: EWWWWWWW.
Dalannah: Oh, I see we got jokes now.
Me: Yeah a 12 year old with a see-through purse. Really?
Crowd: Daaaaaaaamn.

Side Note: The crowd has parents in it too….
Me: So I don’t want to argue anymore. It’s not too late for you to learn the dance. You just need have someone teach you the steps when we go on break.
Dalannah: I just need? I JUST NEED? No you NEED to shut that mess up. You ain’t going to be telling me what to do. You not my daddy.
Me: Do…. you know… who your daddy is?

Crowd erupts in laughter. Quintin 3, Dalannah 0
Dalannah: Ha. Ha. Dumb ass. Walking around in sweat pants.
Me: At… a dance… rehearsal. I’m just saying.
Dalannah: You look mexican! Yah, wanna be jamaican.
Me: You look asian. AND your head is shaped like an alien.
Some kid in the back: I told her that last week.
Dalannah: ^$*#*$& for the #*$&#*&@*#$ and then *&#*&$# you little *#&$##@#
Me: And a konichiwa shem-fa-lye to you too. So you have two options, missy face! (Yes, I actually said that because I am not going to curse at a confused preteen) You can either learn the routine so that you can perform OR you can go home and make intergalactic crab ragoon. I don’t care.
Dalannah: Okay, so I just need a minute to change into my shorts.
Me: Oh. Okay, we’ll wait for you.
Dalannah: -Eye Roll-

And it was settled. She never said anything else mean to me and spent the rest of the time trying to be my friend. Kids are so cute.

PS. Quintin and ugly are antonyms, right?

 

The Panel:

QXR Art Journalist

Nicole Briggs Shrink Boutique

Courtney Williams Public Relations

What do you think?

Check out the podcast also available on i-Tunes featuring a special live mix from DJ Brock Manke!

Quintin: What and when was your first musical performance?

Matthew Santos: I believe my first performance was when I was 16 probably at a coffee shop or something like that or an in school performance. I even did a concert in my backyard with neighbors and friends. We charged a dollar for admission. I had a nice little deck set up with amps to terrorize the neighborhood.

Q: What was your favorite performance so far?

M: That’s hard to say but I would have to say that my favorite one was rocking with Lupe at the Target Center of Minneapolis, my hometown. I used to see all these little kiddy shows there like Disney on ice when I was a kid. It was just crazy being there, performing on that stage in front of 12,000 people. That was pretty amazing. And there have been some great shows with my manager in Chicago played in the Metro once last year, and that was a pretty incredible show.

Q: I know you perform with a band is it the same group of people or do you have to change members?

M: One of our important members of the band, Viva Jay, a back-up singer and beautiful vocalist, recently moved to New York to pursue other interests. So, hopefully she’ll still be playing with us.

Q: How to get your life settled and pulled together, how do you hire your band members and others?

M: Well, a lot of people have been a part of the project since the beginning. There has never been a lot of money to hire people to do these things, so a lot of people are just working out of passion, and out of love for the project, to see its growth and success. We are working towards a situation where we can be self-sustained and actually work as a legit music company. You find people who love the project and have faith in it. It is a blessing to find people to help in different areas. For the band, it was easy. Everyone fell into my lap. I met everyone through someone, another friend, and we just gelled together.

Q: So networking?

M: Yeah networking. You put out a vibe and the universe responds to it and gives you what you need. And that is a proven fact.

Q: Superstar was nominated for a Grammy. What is like to be a part of the Grammy hype? What was going through your head during that whole process?

M: Oh man, I had just bought these new shoes, honesty, and they were killing my feet. I don’t know how you women wear these high heels. Not, that I was wearing high heels, but it made me feel like I was.
It was pretty incredible. I had great seats. Lupe and I were sitting next to M.I.A who was pretty much giving birth at the time. I got to meet Tony York from Radiohead and John Mayer came over to say “What’s Up.” It was a night full of pop rock stars. It was cool. I got to see Paul McCartney play.

Q: Did you write anything or practice a speech just in case you won?

M: No. Even if Lupe and I did win that Grammy, I am pretty sure it would be just Lupe talking and I would be standing there next to him smiling. I have mixed feelings about the whole Superstar thing. It was a blessing because it got the name out there to millions of people. People in countries I haven’t even heard of have hit me up on MySpace so it’s crazy but at the same time it’s not really like the music that I make. So with this whole success thing I always felt that I always along for the ride. I didn’t feel like it was my success. It was more Lupe’s success and I was more kind of accenting his success.

Q: Does this mean that you are trying harder to get your stuff out now? I know that your sound is different from what you have done with Lupe, so are you trying to make sure you keep those fans?

M: That’s a tricky subject. I think a lot of Lupe fans are just music lovers in general. Music lovers are not just of one genre, they love everything from Bjork to Billy Holliday and that is where I am coming from because that is the kind of music that I love. I am making the music that I love and it happens to expand over many genres. Some of Lupe’s fans might like some of my songs; some of them might not like some of my songs. That’s fine. You just have to do what you love.

Q: You have a new CD that is about to come out. How is it different from anything you have produced so far?

M: It’s really different. Before my music was much more down tempo. And I did a live acoustic album in 2007. This is something I have never done before which is try to create more upbeat poppy music. At the time that this album was conceived, which was last summer actually, we were being pitched to a lot of major labels. I was trying to create songs that were still me but had major label appeal so they would be interested in pushing it and working with me. I tried to make good pop music, which is difficult for me because I am not really a pop musician.

Q: How would you define pop music? Is it about being popular or catchy?

M: Well, catchy stuff you hear on the radio. The song On the Radio is actually about pop music, the omega radio hits. The music tends to be more flat than round, I should say.

Q: So you don’t want to fix yourself to a genre, but if you did have to how would describe it?

M: I’m kind of working in a fusion of soul, funk and rock n roll. We experiment with all sorts of production. Even though it’s soulful rock there is a little bit of hip-hop production and electronica. We are pulling from all sorts of genres and pools.

Q: When you are working on your own stuff what keeps your drive going?

M: That changes but ultimately it is about staying on your creative edge, making sure that you are making art that is to the best of your ability and trying to always strive for your greatest potential as an artist.

Q: Often, artists get offers to do major things that they may not necessarily agree with. There is always this question of when you are about to sell out. What is your definition of selling out?

M: My definition of selling out is when you have a corporate sponsor come and say, “Hey, will you endorse our product.” Another person may say that selling out is making commercial music for mainstream success. The whole Disney “Hannah Montana” and “Jonas Brothers” movement is a very clear picture of pop music today. When you become a commercial artist, some people say you sell out, but no one knows what it is like until you are faced with that decision. I felt like I was almost selling out when I said yes to do Superstar with Lupe.

Q: Really?

M: Yeah. Even though he is an up-and-coming hip-hop artist, and sort of a conscience artist that is considered mainstream, the definition is a thin line. It is hard to say, but you know you are selling out when you are making music that you don’t love for the purpose of making money.

Q: What is the effect that you want to have on people?

M: I just want to get people feeling something. If you have a song or a piece of art that brings someone into themselves in a reflective nature and makes them feel something, whatever that may be, it is a human experience. Art is the human experience and it really embodies that. We all have our own little gifts, however subtle. Not everyone can be a Picasso, but we all have something offer the planet, to the world, and the culture at large. My songs are about taking responsibility for that.

To listen to the unedited version of this interview, check out this podcast episode entitled “Getting Your Hustle On.”

My dear friend Kennyetta and I visited this place a few weeks ago for a birthday party. Aside from being groped thoroughly by a bouncer and possibly offending people with my patented re-invention of The Robot, it was a surprisingly great time. With a massive club area on one side, and a more low key lounge with a sizeable dance space on the other, The Shrine is definitely worth checking out. Plus, they offer what I believe to be the best VIP treatment you could ever experience and the staff there is unusually friendly.

You need to definitely dress to impress, so keep the sneakers and street gear (or for most of you jeans and Birkenstocks) at home.

On the flip side, avoid places like The Underground. I visited the place last weekend with my soul mate Neha and overheard a bouncer tell a guy that “We only like to let in friends of the owner and regulars. We prefer to keep it packed with women to keep them happy.” So if you thought the corner of Illinois & Dearborn was packed with crowds because the club was that hopping, think again. It’s to create an image of importance that doesn’t really exist, feeding the egos of immature men who haven’t grown out of their Tool Academy phase. But hey, when your main priority is money over quality, you can overlook such things like image and business integrity and customer service and… well, now I’m just rambling.

Visit the Shrine and then tell me how it was!

Neha is my Michelle Obama

Friday night got a little warmer as Horacio Nieto debuted his spring 2010 collection of men’s and womenswear at EnVent. The runway layout placed a linear rectangle in the middle of the room for the models to navigate through and a massive dynamic screen projection turned the cozy wooden palace into a fierce theatrical event. With the right combination of music, atmosphere, and positive energy, Nieto successfully executed a charming experience that left the public wanting more.

The show benefited from the inclusion of menswear, not necessarily one of Chicago’s strong points. The garments presented in the show’s first half were cute-meets-edgy and well-tailored. Aside from a glitchy tan boxer brief that practically exposed a little bit too much of one model, the collection of men’s clothing was a hit. Skinny-fit shorts were paired with electro-glossy trench jackets, and lean cut sports coats layered over V-necks in an array of inspirational colors that included purple, navy, aqua, and even pink. It was the reinvention of prep and a re-imagination of cool. The array of prints and textures—which is rarely seen in menswear—was epic. Nieto was able to create looks that were signature but, more importantly, possessed the craftsmanship and structure that many menswear designers never achieve. Finally, a Chicago prospect has something to offer Midwestern men that is boutique quality and damn sexy.

The second half of the show presented Nieto’s womenswear which took the night to another level. Models angrily strutted down the runway in gorgeous fantasy pieces that had just about every women in the facility mesmerized. The prints were urban, ethnic, and hip. From exaggerated royal sleeves to fairy-like neck lines, nothing seemed impossible. He gave new life to the ideas of the evening dress, bridesmaid attire, and work wear. Clever pleating combined with youthful prints and an amusing pallet of color made this Nieto line stand out. Its beauty pushes boundaries and flaunts the female form as a divine structure. Haracio Nieto understands a woman’s desire to be desired.

For more information on this designer please visit the TimeOut Chicago Website.

It was a night full of surprises at this year’s Fresh Faces fashion show presented by Gent Art. The event, which showcases Up-and-coming Chicago designers, served as the grand finale for the city’s Fashion Week. There were glorious highs and a few lows that made for an interesting affair.

Starting off the show was C/FAN, a pop inspired brand led by Christina Fan (who’s also modeled for TOC). Her collection featured a lively play with silk ensembles varying in skirts, dresses, blouses and vests. Her aesthetic was impressive, considering the difficulty in manipulating this particular fabric, and the cuts and shapes of the garments were unusual. Mostly monochromatic melodies, they possessed a flowy yet fitted quality that represented stylish leisure.

Kristin Hassan brightened things up with a delicious spectacle of shimmering fun. Cupcakes, candy, and confection took the shape of dresses and girly shorts with trimmed tops, reminiscent of frosting, and accenting hats that added a little more spice to the party. Kristen Hassan proved itself to be a label that represents sweet flirtation and audacious spunk.

The fashion show did hit a speed bump midway when the stylings of DORSIA took over the runway. The menswear line got off to an awkward start when an over-confident model took a considerable amount of time to pose for the cameras, strut for the audience, and look for his reflection in the universe. It recieved some snickering but the circus continued as another model charged forward to the end of the runway and seductively threw out a polaroid photo into the audience. I guess he thought it was cool?

As for the actual clothing, it’s nothing new. Any attempt at innovation was masked by ego which was disheartening considering the low number of Chicago’s menswear designers.

Saving the evening was JLee Silver who completely changed the room’s atmosphere. The models had incredible swagger to match the alluring pieces they were wearing. The fresh collection used a beach inspired color theme that literally had members in the audience gasping at its beauty. Garments included beautifully draped summer gowns, tribal printed skirts, and bitchin’ accessories that added luxury and a new level of sophistication. JLee Silver may be a new line but it demonstrates years of skill, knowledge, and more importantly, imagination to pull off a sexy introduction to the brand.

Adding a touch of urban galore to the runway, Imaginary People presented beautifully crafted wear that definitely requires a confident woman to pull it off. Some of their notable pieces included a series of high-waisted opaque leggings with wild black and white print and a gorgeous short black skirt that seemed to glide angelically as it cleverly concealed the model’s rear. What is most unique about Imaginary People is the amount of risk the designers took in pairing items in the show. Various prints and colors kept the audience on their toes and at the conclusion of their presentation, two models walking side by side in butterfly halter dresses merited applause and cheers.

Concluding the show was Red Doll by Tatyana. The dresses were elegant and had a playful quality that was both youthful and mature. They told the story of a Romantic child-like fantasy that morphs into the tale of a diva’s reality. A jaw dropping moment came when a bright red gown appeared on the stage. The long dress, which had two big red flowers on the shoulders and a black satin belt, was only to be outdone by the finale of the show which was an equally long black dress with cutouts on each side to expose the back and abdomen. The two dresses were epic and perhaps the most enlightening of the night.

View the mentioned fashions at TimeOut

I’ve noticed that all of my friends are dating, it has sort of been bothering me, so I am wondering if I should just settle for less just so I don’t feel like a loser. I know that sounds dumb but I’m not meeting anyone and I’m lonnnnnnnely. :( What do you think?

I honestly want to slap you across the face. But since I don’t believe in violence without pay, I will advise that you should just be patient. Most young marriages fail and unless you friends are producing really good looking babies, they too will be paying a visit to Judge Mablean. If you settle, you will regret it.

Where is a cool place to meet women?!!??

Have you tried looking outside… (I mean really.)

I’m seeing this guy who is really indecisive… like he NEVER knows what he wants to do… even when it comes to sex. Should I try to take charge more or….what?

Hmmmm…. I’m indecisive and hate having too many options when it comes to certain things, but if he can’t even communicate what he wants for that boom boom time, then I’d say end it. I would take an educated guess that he has lost interest or is a lazy person in general. And it personally bothers me when women try TOO hard to please a dude. Desperate is not a good look on anyone other than Terri Hatcher, and she gets paid.

I’ve been talking to this girl for almost a year now. I take her out when she wants, buy her things and yet we are still just friends. I want to take it to that next level but she ain’t budging. I really like her.

You should focus all of that energy on yourself, and leave her in the dust. Some women have a tendency to be in a “gimme” mode. I know, because I have a few friends who are pros at it. Their fun is based on whether or not they can manipulate a guy for his resources (car, money, compliments, etc). I have one friend that doesn’t even need to work because all of her entertainment is paid for by men she has met since moving to Chicago… and she only has to laugh at their jokes! You are probably just one of the many guys she is “talking to.”

I was wondering if you might help us settle a little dispute. My best friend wants me to break up with a guy I have been seeing for over two years. Last year, he dressed in drag for Halloween and this year he plans to be Bruno and is already wearing the costume in front of people! Should I be worried?

Thanks for asking me…. smh. But, you should be worried if it’s making you unhappy. I do not get cross dressing but I have watched enough talkshows to know that it doesn’t mean that he is not NOT in love with you… But then again, if my sister brought Bruno home for Thanksgiving we would have some serious problems which might involve my mom getting bout-it bout-it. You should talk to him if it is starting to embarrass you, but try to limit your friend’s influence on the situation.

Wow. Can you relate to any of these? Comment on the blog, in case my advice was way off. To pose your own questions click here.

For more info visit their site here!

Husband and wife team Urban Punk, Fred and Fallon Jones, joined fashion correspondent Nicole Briggs on discussing body image and gave tips on what to wear to help boost self esteem. Urban Punk’s line is sold at Leaders 1354 and is a line that focuses on avenues of positive expression. Urban Punk described their line as one that does not necessarily follow the trend, it is unique and different which makes them stand out in the fashion industry.

The hosts had to smile when pronouncing their musical guest, violinist Chihsuan Yang’s name. They interviewed the young prodigy who began playing the violin at age four. Since then, Chihsuan has earned her Bachelor of Music in violin performance from DePaul University, is a founding member of the Accende Ensemble, plays with the New Millennium Orchestra and is a part of Grammy-nominated Corky Siegel’s band, Chamber Blues.

The other musical guest, Freeform DJ Demchuk, spun live on the decks with music that made the audience wiggle in their chairs. DJ Demchuk is a resident at Liar’s Club every Tuesday and hosts the monthly End of the World Dance Party the third Thursday of every month at LAVA. Along with his DJing he teaches the art of circuit bending, which got him featured in The Chicago Reader and Chicago Magazine.

Download the podcast to hear all the body image advice and amazing music!

 

F that.

The accomplished and unique Katerina Papdatos talked about her interesting path that led her to a career in costume design and the arts and her current work as the costume designer for Shedd Aquarium’s FantaSea exhibit as DJ Supertoy spun live and had the whole studio dancing. Quintin and Neha made the DJ take a break from spinning on the one’s and two’s to interview the surprisingly timid DJ as well. A member of the Gold Fronts Media Arts Collective, DJ Supertoy spoke about his upcoming CD Panther and even performed a freestyle rap for the audience.

Download the podcast to hear the great mixes and interviews, and also subscribe to us on iTunes!

Spoiler Alert:

The story focuses on Schmelky, the villain, and Emmett, the romantic hero. Emmett is an actor who comes to Schmelky for an audition and instead finds himself captive in his loony sinister world. He falls for the lovely Katie (Ashford) and interacts with a gaggle of crazy characters in the process. There is also a mysterious Banana Man… but they would not tell me anything more about him other than the fact that it is a surprise!

The pair was joined by two guests who shared their own personal perspectives and experiences with networking. Their guest DJ from the Movement Society who spun in the background was the revolutionary DJ 5/16. He gave his take on Chicago nightlife and his plans for it as well as networking. Also returning to the show was fashion correspondent and Shrink Boutique owner Nicole Briggs.

Listen to the show for useful advice on how to network and the hot spots in Chicago!

 

The Panel:

QXR Art Journalist

Nicole Briggs Shrink Boutique

Courtney Williams Public Relations

Leave comments below if you have the urge :)

How quickly we forget those who inspires us.

My friend Nate Carter, of the Movement Society, invited me to observe the biggest spectacle in the Midwest. In honor of Jackson’s birthday, “Rock With You” was a fanatic tribute hosted at the new Park Avenue in Wrigleyville. People came dressed in original MJ styles and danced their asses off. There was even a mega-remixed dance tribute by the Carlton Bradley Dance Troupe. Of course I wasn’t able to attend Jackson’s funeral, but this event turned out to be the best celebration of his life in the city. It also rekindled my love for Chicago. (Even though those divorce papers are still being processed… okay?)

 

White Label DJs Sadie Woods and Madrid joined the NDH team and spun live in the background during the show and added their commentary throughout. Sadie Woods is an avant-garde traditionalist who received her BA in liberal arts from Columbia College Chicago and completed the prestigious International Curatorial Training Program at Ecole Du Magasin in Grenoble, France. Her partner Madrid is a post-modernist selector who has had experience performing around the world. The pair has two different styles that mesh together so well that the pairing is like no other. Together they hold residencies at various Chicago locations and have recently toured as DJs for Oprah Winfrey’s Trip of a Lifetime Mediterranean cruise.

Also joining the NDH team were two young motivational speakers, Ashley Winston and returning guest Karli Butler. Ashley Winston is an actress, arts educator and consultant who obtained her undergraduate degree in theater performance and a graduate degree in arts, entertainment and media management from Columbia College Chicago. She uses her experience in the arts and education to motivate and help others on their paths of self-discovery and purpose. Karli Butler is a young motivational speaker who was a victim of two vicious attacks and a kidnapping in 2006. She received her BA in communication and is pursing her masters in organizational and multicultural communication from DePaul University. She uses her experiences and education to motivate others. She has been featured in Goddess Magazine and on A&E/Biography Channel’s “I Survived”.

All the guests shared their thoughts on haters and how to deal with them. Hate and haters are everywhere and have affected everyone. The NDH team and guests speak on how to get over haters’ negative energy, turn it positive and move on. Listen to the podcast to hear the in depth discussions and personal stories that were shared and remember to auto-subscribe to the iTunes podcast now by clicking here!

Hey, Quintin. I recently moved to Chicago a few months ago and I must say the yoga classes I have taken here have been very weird. The teachers I have tried out have been mean, and the vibe is off in these studios… Can you recommend a cool place that offers yoga at a decent rate?

Well, to answer the question: No. I honestly couldn’t make any recommendation without bias. My friend Dana owns a lovely studio in Lakeview called The Yoga Boutique. I loved teaching yoga and pilates there because it was a friendly environment that was marketed to both beginners and hardcore athletes. You would only find classes like that inside of a gym, and my days of spokesmodeling for commercial health clubs are long over.

I empathize with not feeling comfortable at a yoga studio. But one has to keep in mind that the training of a yoga instructor (who eventually turns into the business owner) does not necessarily include knowledge in customer service and exercise. Sure, yogis know chants, and poses, and postures but many lack expertise in injury prevention, CPR/AED, and basic exercise psychology. These are things you would find at an actual gym with a certified group fitness instructor or a hired yogi with mandatory in-house training.

So, if you are willing to continue this search for a yoga studio/class that is suitable for your needs, this is what you should be looking for.

1. Your first class at any studio should be free, or a very cheap unlimited trial package should be offered. This is their opportunity to welcome you into their environment, and if they do a poor job at it, you don’t lose money.

2. They should be able to answer every single possible question you have about yoga practice. Not going to lie, silly questions can be really annoying, but it is completely reasonable to feel insecure about doing something that you’ve only heard celebrities talk about. (This sentiment also works for cocaine, oddly enough.)

3. Expect the “fake” vibe. Some people take yoga just to say they do it, which is their American right. But if you think that it is too much for you and that you can’t even make small talk with the staff then you should move it along. There are enough studios in this town to try out.

4. Your class should not feel like an olympic competition. It is your instructors duty to relieve you of any pressure to match the efforts of any “show offs”. Regardless of the level, the instructor should be giving the class options and modifications so that you are not stuck in a painful situation, lost, bored, or confused.

5. Finally, just be motivated! Yoga will improve everything in your life, so the search for the right class is well worth it. If you have found a class or instructor that you do like, please comment below for others to checkout.

To ask me anything else, click here.

It was not a happy experience. And I feel that it is my duty to report about it, so I am currently consulting about 8 people before I post the final product. It is my goal, to provide the readers with as much detail as possible without getting myself blacklisted as a journalist. (I didn’t really know how popular I was online until I started getting emails and tweets from curious people in other parts of the world.)

You can expect this article to be one of the best that I have written in my young journalistic career. In the meantime, check out this video of me during the last minute dance rehearsals of the clearly disorganized event. Someone tweeted this to me.

Who do I think I am????!!! Ha!

We are back and ready to fight another war as Nobody Dances Here enters its third season of 90 minute radio banter. Airing live every Saturday, join Quintin Roper and Neha Khanna (now the regular co-host!) for topics including art, entertainment, dating, celebrity culture, fashion, self improvement, and of course…. CHICAGO!!!!

Mathew Santos, famous for his collaborations with Lupe Fiasco, is giving us the scoop on what it’s like to fly solo in the music industry. After being nominated for a Grammy with several live performances under his belt, Santos is aiming higher with an upcoming album that is unlike anything you have heard before!

And Chicago’s own celebrity fashionista, Nicole Briggs of Shrink Boutique, stops by to tell us about Chicago fashion and the journey we all must take to look good, be individuals, and NOT overdo style. Hair, accessories, shoes, and even attitude are discussed as Nicole gives us the rundown on the do’s and don’ts of Fall 2009.

Be sure to comment below, we love community feedback and if you haven’t done it already subscribe to the iTunes podcast now by clicking here!

CHICAGO, Ill. August 31, 2009—Media coverage for documentary film The September Issue: Anna
Wintour and the Making of Vogue is in full swing and in anticipation. Shrink Boutique offers a public
activity and a matching product to boot. The ‘haute happening’ will occur Friday, September 11 thru
Sunday, September 13 during the AMC River East 21 premier weekend but the result remains a
marvelous mystery.

In April of ‘09, Shrink Boutique was pleased to add iconic t-shirts by Christopher Lee Sauvé, a New
York based designer. Shrink Boutique carries Sauvé’s most famous design, the Save Anna t-shirt with
Anna Wintour’s image on the front. The Save Anna print campaign began late last year when rumors
began to circulate that Wintour was being replaced as editor of Vogue. The now infamous t-shirt has
created a media sensation and cult following around the world. Shrink Boutique also sells Sauvé’s t-
shirt with the image of Andre Leon Talley, the flamboyant editor-at-large of Vogue.

Deliberate or by coincidence, the Save Anna campaign compliments the release of The September Issue
about Vogue’s revered and feared editor and what goes into making the most important issue of the
year. Having sold out of the t-shirt twice, Shrink Boutique felt it was only necessary to reach out to
Chicago’s fashion community to celebrate the opening of The September Issue as a performance.
Shrink Boutique will coordinate groups of style mavens to the theater and document their wardrobe as
they arrive and at the after parties.

Shrink Boutique considers this a “happening”, a term coined by the Fluxus movement. Fluxus is an
international network of artists, composers and designers noted for blending different artistic media and
disciplines in the 1960s. They have been active in Neo-Dada noise music and visual art as well as
literature, urban planning, architecture, and design. Fluxus is often described as an intermedia.

A happening is a performance, event or situation meant to be considered as art. “Happenings”,
developed by Alan Kaprow, take place anywhere, are often multi-disciplinary, often lack a narrative
and frequently include audience interaction. Key elements of happenings are planned, but artists
sometimes retain room for improvisation. This performance could be a meaningful infiltration of
everyday fashion industry folk, entertainers, fashionistas, etc. Some attendees are even planning to
dress up as Anna.

Eventually Kaprow shifted his practice into what he called “activities”, intimately-scaled pieces for one
or several players and devoted to the examination of everyday behaviors and habits in a way nearly
indistinguishable from ordinary life. Fluxus, experimental performance and installation art was, in turn,
influenced by his work.

However, Shrink Boutique will channel their “happening” in Kaprow’s initial form bringing high
fashion into a tangible medium; a participatory street event entertaining the public as they arrive on an
implied red carpet. This will all be photographed and video recorded in true Fluxus form.

And Nobody Dances Here will be there!

CONTACTS:
Nicole Briggs
Tel. 312-953-7931
Email: nicole@shrinkboutique.com

Sadie Woods
Tel. 773-387-8560
Email: whitelabelchicago@gmail.com

When the script is flipped, it’s worst. I make a very funny comment but they’re too “intellectual” to find it funny. The joke has to be explained to them in order to justify the intelligence of the people who laughed… They are tardy for the party, and I don’t mean late.

This is what I like to call a RUINER.

A ruiner is socially awkward person who does not really understand the concept humor. Their mind doesn’t go beyond text books, and they make everyone suffer. A ruiner ruins things!

Often, when I encounter ruiners, I often think about what it might be like to slay them like a dragon. When the monster is removed from the kingdom, everyone is happy! Perfect logic. But I’m not much into murder this year, and I am trying to do the opposite of jail right now… So the only option, the American option, is that they change. Or go away.

Or die.

C’mon, back me up. Would you rather be stuck on an elevator with a ruiner for an hour…. or me IE pure comic relief (although I might have to throw in a dramatic monologue just to make sure the news cameras see my range… I’m just saying). Clearly, the choice is obvious unless you are a ruiner yourself. In which case, I would really try to choke the hell out of you because I hate ruiners. They ruin things. And with you out of the picture, we are all so much happier.

And who would convict a face like this:

[Recently Untagged High School Facebook Photo]

With a president like this:

It’s a win-win.

Now, you may be asking “Quintin, isn’t it a little rude to just hop in the cab without asking if they will accept my card.” And for that, I will slap you in the face and repeat ALL CABS IN CHICAGO ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS.

Just follow these steps:

1. Flag down a cab. Ladies, feel free to stick one bare leg out to speed up the process.
 
2. Enter cab, greet driver, and give address.DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING CONCERNING PAYMENT.
 
3. If you know how to get to your destination from your current location, tell the driver immediately how to get there. This will notify them that you are not a tourist and will ensure that they do not take a longer route to get more money out of you.
 
4. Make note of the cab number, the drivers full name, and the taxi company name. You may need this if things get “bout-it bout-it”.
 
5. While in the car, keep your eye on the dashboard meter. You should know, before entering the cab, if the gas surcharge fee is active, and the fees associated with each additional person is listed, by law, in the backseat. Some drivers are shady and love to push buttons.
 
6. Once you arrive at your destination, wait for the final price, and hand over card.

Now the fun begins.

8. The driver SHOULD swipe the card, without fuss. You will receive one or two print-outs. Both will require your signature one will include a place for you to add a tip. Some drivers, depending on the taxi brand, will ask you about the tip before printing the receipt. That amount should appear on the copies you sign.
 
9. IF THERE IS A FUSS DO NOT PANIC OR GET ANGRY. Many drivers will claim that “the machine is not working or that the service is down”. Most of them are bs-ing. If a cab really does not have a working CC machine, then it shouldn’t be on the streets for service. In the event that the machine is honestly not working, the driver is supposed to call their headquarters and read off your cc number to the dispatcher with the amount you are charging. They then will make a receipt by pulling out a metal box and thin paper to “swipe copy” your credit card.

The process can take up some time, so using cash is sometimes the easiest way to avoid altercations but if you’re in a situation where you really can’t or don’t feel like tracking down an ATM or getting cash back via debit purchase, you have the right as a Chicagoan to pay for the ride with your card so long as its active and the funds are available.

A good rule of thumb: Develop some street smarts and immediately let the driver know that you are not an idiot that can be taken advantage of. Know what direction you are going, watch out for those additional charges, and be super confident when presenting your card as payment.

Ew.

Quintin teams up with co-host Tammy tell you everything you need to look fly, feel confident, and perserve sexy without being messy. Listen in as they banter and discuss this often misunderstood topic.

Falling in line with this week’s topic, we have Red Hot Annie, Wham Bam Pam, and Donna Touch of Vaudezilla who gives us a glimpse into the life of a burlesque dancer. Annie, a one time Morman turned pin-up model, is honest and does not sensor her fierceness.

“I like people who can be honest with themselves. I’m the most independent woman I know…I like to like to draw my own conclusions on everything” says Ann.
 

For more information on any of our guests and hosts, be sure to visit www.nobodydanceshere.com and tune into the show. And also cruise www.vaudezilla.com to get a dose of the sexiest burlesque group in the midwest!

Sidenote: A fun drinking game would be to take a shot everytime you hear the phrase Grown & Sexy.

*PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams

[Kris Broun] -verb
1. to strike violently or forcefully and repeatedly.
2. to give blows to the head; pound
3. to cut, wound, or tear with the teeth
4. to kill by stopping the breath in any manner; choke; stifle; suffocate.

Tamara, if you don’t shut the hell up I will Chris Brown you then sell your body to the Mormons.

Doesn’t that sound like fun? Oh, it was such a great addition to my quintonic dictionary until:

[Awkward Silence]
Is he… for serious?

I mean he nearly kills our only black Cover Girl, and tries to play it off like a professional writer didn’t make this speech for him. Chris, some of them words are too big for you dude.

My favorite part:

My mother and my spiritual teachers have taught me way better than that. I TOLD RHIANNA…

 

I don’t think you really need a spiritual teacher to tell you to avoid putting someone in a headlock nonjokingly with the intent to kill. Don’t you just hate people who give you tired old formal apologies but still plan to kill you the next time they get a chance? And that is what the new Chris Brown means

[kris brown] -verb

1. to give a wiggity wack apology only because you got caught or called out for doing something you knew you had no business doing.
2. to appear regretful to a female while plotting to ruin her life further with you fists and/or teeth.

Tamara, I’m so sorry for pushing your head into the CTA door like that. It was immature. My mother and my spiritual teachers taught me better -BAM!- Take that! -Slap Slap- Ha! How you like me now, wotie.

I know his people are about to launch a full throttle campaign to get him back on the charts… but that police report is a reminder to anyone who has a sister, daughter, niece, aunt and mother that abusive men exist and that we should all be on the lookout for the signs. Ten dollars to the person who can explain to me why he’s still alive… No, really. :-/

PS. I really did push Tamara’s head into CTA property earlier today… then she cooked me dinner. I’m just being honest.

4 Scoops Chocolate protein powder
2 Heaping Scoops Coconut Milk Ice Cream
2 Cups of Ice
1 Cup Vanilla Almond Milk
1/2 Frozen Banana
2 Tablespoons Peanut Better

Blended to smoothness… But there was something missing.

I kept forgetting this ingredient, it was so basic.

A straw.

But not just ANY kind of of straw. A straw that would allow me to drink this thick beverage comfortably without putting strain on my cheeks or causing the vain in my forehead to jet out. Have you ever attempted to drink a shake from Potbelly’s? They use regular straws so that they can put a cookie garnish on them. Sure, it’s cute and pretty but the sipping experience is like giving birth to a baby in reverse.

Growing sick of attempting to drink these shakes straight out of the cup, I decided that I would venture out and get the appropriate straws. And you KNOW that only one place on Earth makes straws like that.

So I left my apartment, sans wallet or cash, to go confiscate me some straws from Mickey D’s as if this were something that everyone does on a school night.

I walked into the joint. It was dead. There was an angry silence in the air despite the Olivia Newton John track playing in the background. I looked over to my right and I saw a glorious opened box of straws. I didn’t think twice. I just walked over to it, grabbed a fistful and –

“Ay! Porish aqua borrino te leon serica nana!!!!”

(I should probably note that I am not a speaker of spanish… despite what others assume.)

ME: Um….

McDonald’s Manager: Surro que cosa me si rollo nuevo!

ME: What? Sir.. I am not a speaker of spanish…. despite what—

MM: You are stealing!

ME: Straws… These are straws.

MM: Those are not yours. You did not order many drinks for those.

ME: I can… or I can just put them back?

MM: No!!!! You touch them all over!

ME: Well, how do you want to resolve this? Cause I’m already over it. I can go to another McDonald’s. I’m just saying.

MM: No! You stay here! I already called police.

(At this point I started to think that the straws might have had diamonds in them.)

ME: Whoa.

(Security guard enters room)

Security Guard: Man, whatchu doin?

ME: I was just, you know, trying to get some straws.

SG: You can’t just be coming up in “hurr” like you own the place and be taking shit. That’s what’s wrong with you kids, just entitled to every God damned thing.

ME: I’m 23… and a grad student. And I’m going to leave.

SG: Oh so now you want to leave? You done harassing people? Off to hop on the train with your friends to the south side?

ME: Are you trying to be funny? I don’t understand your humor… sir.

SG: Don’t be getting wordy with me, now. I’ll take you down. You want to go toe to toe…

(At this point I have been twittering like crazy)

SG: And who are you texting?!

ME: Like 400 people who will not believe I’m about to experience security guard brutality over some straws. Are you going to hit me?

SG: Naw, I was just going to scare you really…

ME: Again, I do not understand your humor.

MM: Arrest him for stealing! He is taking the property that does not belong to him.

ME: You called security. If he arrests me… where does he put me? In his office?

A long awkward silence ensued as I tweeted my way out of boredom. Never have I ever been so disrespectful in a McDonald’s restaurant.

SG: You don’t even feel bad.

ME: I have class in the morning.

SG: Bet it ain’t bible class. You kids these days need to learn the good word and come up off the streets.

ME: Okay. I’m done. Here you go.

I gave him all but one straw I was allowed to place in my pocket earlier.

ME: I’m sorry.

[Another long silence]

SG: Do you accept his apology?

MM: Yes. He can leave.

ME: What do you mean does he accept my apology?!

SG: Please leave.

I felt stupid. Who in the hizell gets in trouble for taking straws from a fast food restaurant in the loop? I had to take the longest walk of shame back to my apartment with a half melted Anti-Jamba smoothie waiting for me on the kitchen counter. I opened my plus sized straw proudly, and stabbed it into the cold depths of my glass and sipped bitterly as I read the responses I was getting on twitter and facebook. Everyone thought it was funny. I didn’t. If I hadn’t apologized, I probably would have had my portrait posted on a wall near the register with ” CUIDADO!” in black Sharpee.

My life.

 

Some of the sites discussed in this weeks podcast:
Pick The Perp
Texts From Last Night
There, I Fixed It
Fail Blog

*PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams

Yes? Great. Now that we have that settled I want to direct your attention to exhibit A:

The above is a clip from the documentary Wildwood, NJ, a 1994 film by Chicago’s Ruth Leitman that exposes the culture of women and girls who populate the New Jersey town. Although the film has a somewhat serious message about the state of feminism in America….

IT IS HA-LARIOUS!

It’s pre-Jerry Springer minus the studio audience. And to makes this even more perfect than it already is, one of the featured girls is now a Real Housewife of New Jersey (Bravo TV).

God bless America.

Currently, Leitman is dishing out a bonus gift to the first 100 people who buy the DVD. For more information on her work or to purchase visit her site at http://ruthlessfilms.com/.

People, buy the DVD. Invite your friends over, dressed of course in your best white trash apparel, and party like its 200LATE.

 

“I haven’t been in a fight for awhile because my boyfriend won’t let me fight anymore.”

 

Sidenote: I amended this post because one person found it very racist, if you feel the same I should direct you to a post I did on ghetto black people….

Surprisingly no one found that racist…

I have a college degree.

This heifer was wearing pink Crocs to match her pink dress. At first, I understood it. Perhaps she was a tourist who needed to take a break from the amazing high heels she was wearing moments before. Then as I watched her interact with her friends, I realized that she wasn’t a tourist and that she was quite proud of her outfit. To make things worse, the Crocs even had a white flower printed on them so they were justifiably formal.

People.

Crocs were developed for people who work in the medical field where they stand on their feet for long periods of time. They were never intended to be fashionable or even functional beyond shiny tile floors. Wearing these shoes leisurely as if they were sneakers is not only foolish but its quite unsafe. The faux-sandals get caught in escalators, lack the toe-ball-heel support for fast paced walking, and cannot handle summer weather. THEY ARE MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF PLASTIC! The shoes aren’t cleanable so the bacteria buildup is hazardous in addition to the funky odor that comes rather quickly.

But, who am I to judge. If that girl, or anyone, wants to walk the streets of Chicago looking like a rich third grader that is her prerogative.

Quintin just spotted a woman wearing crocs with an evening dress. I should just stone the hell out of her. – Twitter 11:23 PM Jun 25th

Featured musical guest, Jai Will joins us for a special interview. This gifted artist has been around for some time, first starting his singing career singing back-up for the original Bad Boy, Sean “P-Diddy” Combs, and other great artists including R. Kelly and Dave Hollister! Overcoming constant obstacles while growing up on the South Side of Chicago, Jai Will is ready to take his place center stage and in the this interview, he gives us some insight into his artistry and his role in the community.

For more informaion on Jai Will Visit:
http://jaiwil.com/

For more information on Jaky Visit:
http://www.modelmayhem.com/706641
http://www.myspace.com/muajacqui

*PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
B.A- Public Relations/Advertising-Loyola University Chicago
MBA – Clarke College

*PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
B.A- Public Relations/Advertising-Loyola University Chicago
MBA – Clarke College

*PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
B.A- Public Relations/Advertising-Loyola University Chicago
MBA – Clarke College

Then all of my friends united to remind me that I should not forgive her and I should save my money for more important things. They did this via facebook:

But the last stone that did me in was a lovely gift from my friend Natalie:

The quickest way to turn me off is to make me look ugly. -Psalms 369

C l e a r l y, this is a spoiler alert for those of you hardcore Shia and Fox fans. I apologize for anything that might ruin your theatrical experience.

But for those of you who know this is about to be a funny mess….

Let’s dig right in!

Number One: Whose idea was it to make half of the transformers “Racially Neutral” and the other half “Clearly BLACK”? Now you may be asking, “Quintin, how in the hell do you know that some of them were black?” Well, if the random gold jewelry and bling wasn’t a dead give away, the “non-black” transformers sound serious and philosophical like Sean Connery and the black ones talk like Lil Wayne. NOT TO SAY…. that Lil’ Wayne is not cool, but when those transformers are the dumb clumsy characters who are the only ones using street slang and profanity… it just makes you say “hmmmmmm….”.

Number Two: Why isn’t Tyrese allowed to talk in this god damn movie?! They give him these “one-liners”, having him co-sign on what other people are saying but he adds no content what so ever. At one point in the film, an officer tells him that he is “paid to shoot guns… not to speak….” Excuse me? Really? It’s like that now? So… that whole thing in November when my BFF Obama became President… That didn’t mean anything? Ok. I got you. ;) And to make things worse, he isn’t even comedic! Tyrese gets dogged in this movie the same way Beyonce did in Dream Girls…. just a pretty face put to shame shame shame.

HOW-E-VER

This movie is interesting until they get to Egypt and then it is the longest ending to a movie you will ever experience in this life time. And it is one bad racial joke after another as if no one will catch the funny “hidden” meanings behind choices the director, designers, and producers made.

[Read the other reviews] Link Courtesy of Sablesma

One thing I could never understand is how people could read newspapers so early in the morning. I’d be on the train and would see folks face deep in the Red Eye, Wall Street, and Sun-Times… I didn’t want any part of it. I thought T was for television and it was good enough for me. Then I got a little older, and much wiser, noticing that TV news is garbage and controlled by large corporations. I wanted more information that was instant and from a variety of sources. So I attached myself to blogs and other online news feeders and have incorporated 20 minutes of web browsing into my morning regimen. Sure, it is causing the demise of the print media, but I like the fact that a revolution is taking place right before my eyes.

In the online world, anyone can be a journalist. Something happens, you report it, and the reader decides if it is news. If enough people respond to it, it is powerful enough to crossover into print and film media and can ultimately change lives. A google search on soy has kept me away from soybean based products, a tweet about drug trafficking in Mexico caused me and Anita to cancel our sucker-free honeymoon, a review of Joel Hall Dance Studio on yelp notified me of its new location and because of all of the youtube video responses to “Single Ladies” I no longer violently hate Beyonce anymore (but I will beat that face if she gets out of line…) The amount of time and effort I would need to have this experience with a newspaper would be significantly greater, searching through pages and different issues with limited sources. But this still isn’t a good selling point for people who like the ease and comfort of flipping through a newspaper.

That is…

Until NOW!

Allegedly, the New York Times has been working on a prototype for an online newspaper that would faithfully combine the security of a paper newspaper with web 2.0. For the past few years, many major newspapers have been trying to convert to blog style formats with their websites but it is failing. They can’t figure out how to generate the same revenues with advertising, the veteran writers are not web savvy, a method of updating information has not been developed (mostly because newspapers are used to publishing once a day as opposed to by the minute to keep up with other news sources), and the biggie, no one wants to pay to read online content. Unless you are a serious sports fan or you are obsessed with a particular writer, there is no incentive to pay for online newspaper subscriptions, especially if you notice the faultiness of the website layout. Often, the links are hard to navigate through, the content is out of date, the ads overpower the page, and it is impossible to search through.

But at last it seems that despite the bankruptcies, the newspapers are trying to innovate. View the New York Times Prototype. What do you think? Is this something you could get jiggy with?

An inside source, aka some woman at a bar, told me that the Chicago Tribune is about to bust out its own reinvention of the wheel. It is supposed to be a one stop shop for anything and everything related to Chicago. They are marketing it as “The Facebook of Chicago” (You can view their prototype here).

We’ll see. I don’t mind the competition, but I will walk the six blocks to Michigan Avenue and burn a historic bitch down If. I. Need. To.

Shoot.

Quintin does not play.

Side Note: The Chicago Tribune deemed nobodydanceshere.com as one of Chicago’s Best Blogs. Hooray for me. Say it with me, “Hooray for Quintin. He is awesome. Boo Oprah. We hate Oprah. We would rather have Quintin as a talkshow host and feed Oprah to the talking stone head from ‘Legends of the Hidden Temple’. Go Silver Snakes!”

[Moment of Silence]

Hooray for ice cream and malt liquor! The best self medication a Chase Debit Card can buy. It’s just funny… you come across someone who symbolizes romantic hopes and they turn out to be a villain. And then the train of fools that came after that was a riot to my friends who have no choice but to laugh because the resulting stories are so insanely unbelievable. Luckily, I can laugh about it too.

See, I'm laughing.

Educational videos like this helped me get to this point of thankfulness.

Perhaps I should stop exploiting my people to prove a point… I feel like Tyler Perry. Ew.

For more information on DJ Hish and his music, check out the following links!
Twitter
MySpace Music

You can also download tracks from Last.FM!

PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
MBA – Clarke College

Oh, and Britney is coming back to Chicago September 9th! I still love that hoe…

Let’s begin, shall we?

1. The bridge?  It looks very pretty when you are looking at it from michigan & monroe BUT it really makes no sense.  To use it, you have to walk about half a block north into Millenium Park.  You cannot have any food or beverage in your hands when you board, and if you decide that you want off, you have a long journey back down.  Adding to its suckiness, the wait for the elevator is at least 30 minutes once you reach it and the escalators don’t always work.
2. The art? A lot of it was from the museum’s original collection, but the new stuff they added was not interesting at all.  Some of the rooms seemed bare and others were left “under construction” with one room featuring tacked paper on the wall (faux wallpaper).  There is a really impractical video room which is too dark to navigate into and with the midwestern tourists, impossible to see.
3. Where is the diversity? I expected to see things from a variety of artists of different backgrounds.  There seemed to be no variation in age, skill level, ethnicity… nothing.  It was boring.  With the school being connected to the museum, you would think that there would be a special exhibit room to showcase our work or at least an exclusive alumni section.
4. And there is no fashion or textile section…? What happened to the innovation…

 

There are a lot of problems with the Modern Wing.  Mostly due to the amount of hype surrounding its opening.  I mean Oprah and the Olympic committee were there before the opening.  Don’t get me wrong, the building is gorgeous and wonderfully intricate, but the BS inside is just….

Wiggity Wack

I blame that damned Diddy Puff!

 

Side Note: I am awesome.

That last video is more of a social comment on the effects of BET (Black Exploitation Television). Does she know that she goes off beat midway through the song? W.T. Eff.

Now, you may be asking, “Why tweet these things? What is the benefit?” And that answer really depends on the tweeter. For me, I use twitter to network with other people in similar professions, and I also use it discover other bloggers and attract attention to my blog. In addition to tweeting the humorous stuff, I do announce things related to work and school in hopes of connecting with other people in the same fields. This has been a really good way for me to stay current on trends, industry, and competition. It also allows me tell all of my friends something at once as opposed to repeating myself over and over again, beating a dead horse til it’s blue in the face –which is surprisingly great fun (nonmetaphorically).

Because I am so active as a blogger, the idea of micro-blogging (shorter more frequent postings) naturally makes sense, but I still run into many people who think the idea is stupid. Well, it’s not. Anyone who is anyone is doing it… so yeah… take that….. and get jiggy with it. ?

I hate Will Smith.

I am going to try my best, in very few words, to explain how Twitter works and convince you to sign up for an account. It will be the third best thing you do with your life (the first: being a reader of this blog, and the second: voting for Michelle Obama). I know, I know. I am way too conceited and I need to work on that. I had a rough childhood.

No. I didn't.

Ok. So now you kind of get it? (Just nod your head yes… thank you) But you still may be a little hesitant or confused by the lack of options with Twitter. You only have 140 characters without the support of multimedia. That is actually a GREAT thing. Unlike facebook, you don’t have to deal with the numerous postings of photos, videos, new groups and fan pages, and comments on top of comments on top of comments. Facebook is great for more intimate networking with actual friends (because you can navigate through the mess to get to them) but it is not ideal for networking with new people or learning/experiencing new things.

Tweets can come in the form of breaking news, advice, entertainment, etc. It is information that you can use to your benefit. You only follow people who you want information from and it is perfectly normal to follow people who you do not know. Could you imagine the hysteria if you were to friend people on facebook you didn’t know and commented on all of their stuff?

Twitter is not that personal. And for the super paranoid, there is even a feature to lock your updates so that no one can see your tweets without your approval. I prefer to merge the two social sites together by using Twitter’s Facebook App to allow my tweets to post as my facebook status update. So every time I tweet, which is usually by phone, it automatically changes my status on facebook.

I’m sure that some of you still have questions but if you don’t get it by now, I am certain you will after trying it. It’s one of those things you just have to do to get… Like cocaine.

Or Parenthood.

The End.

Sell Out

[Follow Me on Twitter]
[Friend Me on Facebook]

1. Have your resume and a cover letter template ready to be sent immediately. This means making sure it has been proofread by people you trust, it remains updated and clean, and is on you at all times or can at least be easily accessed online.

2. When you hear about a job, DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT put it on your list of things to do. Apply for it immediately. The economy is not dead, its slow. This means that people are still hiring but some positions may be first come first serve and you do not want to miss an opportunity because of procrastination.

3. Always follow up and learn how to be a hustler. Some employers will get sidetracked or delayed in the hiring process and you should keep them on their toes. If you are not getting a response, DO NOT take it as a sign of rejection. If you are qualified for the job (and you likely are hence your application) then they should get back to you within a reasonable time frame. If not, you probably don’t want to work for them. They’re inconsiderate, sloppy, and not a match for your awesomeness.

4. Regardless of what the job is ALWAYS DRESS UP for the interview. No flip flops, no ill-fitting denim, and certainly no Crocs… ew… You should wear colors that reflect well with your face. As critical as that sounds, it does make everything you say seem more legit and appealing. And definitely WEAR A WATCH. It shows a sign of maturity and seriousness.

5. If you are black, do not show up late. I’m just saying…

6. Before the interview, prepare for the question “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” Cheat sheet: They want to know how you work in a team, what you can contribute to it, and what you can learn from others. For example, a strength of mine is that I am very outgoing and will get any job done in the shortest amount of time possible. A weakness for me would be my need to make sure that things are perfect which can affect my trust when working in groups. I would be great at contributing ideas and leadership but would be able to learn how to let others take the wheel when necessary. Some employers are really big on “self improvement” and it is important that you show them that teeny tiny vulnerability and willingness to learn.

7. Keep your mouth shut about your job search, and continue to apply for things even if you think you have found a sure thing. Because it is so competitive, it is smart to be somewhat discreet about the things that you are applying for, especially if you are a recent college graduate or have managed to surround yourself with other unemployed people. And remember that nothing is guaranteed. You should be consistently aggressive with your job search until you fill out your W-2 forms… Yes, it is that serious.

8. If your interviewer asks, “Do you have any questions?” ASK THEM A QUESTION! This is a trick that many employers use to see how interested you are. This is prime time to ask about any company policies and recent developments in the company due to the economy. ;)

9. You need to know what you are applying for inside and out. Even if it is flipping burgers at Checkers, you should go out of your way to impress your interviewer with knowledge on safety, customer service, and examples of how you have succeeded in the past. They will ask you dumb questions. But it is your job to knock them out of the ballpark like your Miss Universe or Mr Politician. (It might help to watch some youtube vids of such people answering questions on the fly).

10. And finally, you really wouldn’t be unemployed if you knew how to network. This means that you are familiar with the industries in your city, the major players, and have friends in the field you wish to pursue. A person who networks well, also takes advantage of the many online resources available (including thefacebook, twitter, and even that tacky myspace) to remain connected to people who may either a) lead you to your next job or b) need your help in a project. In all seriousness, networking is how I got into grad school, landed a radio show, and its how I got my part time job as a fitness instructor. N E T W O R K I N G

Just remember: If you throw out positive energy into the universe, positive things will come back to you. Stop worrying about being unemployed and start to visualize yourself with a job that is fulfilling. Then put those thoughts into actions and be actively patient.

Late.

“Spot on… The two-person Jablonski team nailed it!” – TimeOut Chicago

Next, NDH radio gives us a nice musical break from comedy with their interview with Paper Thick Walls, a musical team comprised of songwriters and producers Eric Michaels and Kate Schell. Their indie/folk style is based on a uniqueness that has created their up and coming album “The Red Room.” Before Eric and Kate began collaborating their styles they had already built a solid foundation for themselves as artists. With such accomplishments as 2004 VH1 Songwriter of the year award credited to Kate Schell, they bring to their fans a musical treat of original and creative music.

PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
MBA – Clarke College

I looked around to see who he could be talking about and he responded: “Yeah you, tight booty. Come here.”

Of course I took off in the opposite direction, using that optimum marathon speed that is only used for extreme emergencies. Once I reached safety, I paused for a moment and began to think, “That’s odd. I don’t look like that prosti.” So I called my friend Verone to see what her opinion was. She laughed and then pointed out that my headshot was strangely “Sasha” fierce in nature.

Are you kidding… I’m way more adorable and I would never stab my two backup singers in the back for a shortlived solo career… or marry a camel.

Or put my name on a tacky brand of clothing (regardless of how many times my mom threatens to beat me).

I’m just saying!

[my other look-a-likes]

CHICAGO –5/24/2009- Nobody Dances Here radio gives its listeners a view into the artistic lives of those who create art with an interview with guests, Hadley Vogel and Emanuel Aguilar of the Happy Collaborationists. Visit www.nobodydanceshere.com to listen in on this creative discussion of the important role of art and the creators who make it.

The Happy Collaborationists started as a quarterly publication in 2008, by Anna Trier and Hadley Vogel. Now, not only is it a publication, but out of their own home, they have turned The Happy Collaborationists into a gallery, hosting several exhibitions throughout the year. Staffed with a creative, hardworking, and ambitious team, The Happy Collaborationists will also bring not only their unique viewpoints and perspectives to the art they showcase, but they will soon expand their business by setting up a bookbindery/printer.

In addition, artist GG makes her debut as co-host and let’s just say her original wit and comedic timing is well worth the download! NDH is now airing live ever Saturday for the summer. Check out http://www.freeradiosaic.org/ for more info.

PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
MBA – Clarke College

1. My high school theatre teacher, for whatever reason, admitted to me privately that he was only going to cast me in the school’s musical South Pacific because he needed a black student to play Henri the servant… He legitimately couldn’t stand me, but was desperate.
2. A dance teacher insisted that I play Michael Jackson in a dance performance of Thriller and then later told me that she regretted that decision because she thought I would “dance more hood”.  I then tried to explain to her that I was technically from “the hood” but never went outside because my mom didn’t want me to die before graduating.
3. My voice and diction teacher in undergrad told me that she didn’t like the way I talked.  She insisted that I learned how to develop a “Black Dialect” because that would be 80% of my work as a professional actor.  She then made me practice this “Black Dialect” for forty minutes after class once.  I had to talk like Weezie from Good Times in order to pass the class for the remainder of the semester.
4. I did costume design for a play at the same school and a teacher commented “You’re black. So you understand casual wear. But you really need to do more research about professional attire.”  This was prompted over the fast that I wanted to put a broach on someone’s blouse…
5. I earned a C+ in my first writing class in college with a note from the professor saying “You made a surprisingly tremendous improvement in your writing.  Given the cultural differences, you should know that your writing is good because it is now average.”  Granted, I did do my final essay on Britney Spears…

The list can go on for days.  It sucked at the time but now I find it funny.  I’m a paid actor and choreographer, I have a successful radio show, I work as a specialist in a fashion resource center, and I’m a published author.  I never confronted those teachers and although I still fantasize about walking into their offices to karate chop them in the neck, I’ve learned that I needed those negative experiences to know what I wanted to accomplish now.

Being a minority is a rough gig sometimes, but with a sense of humor you’ll find truth in your identity and the haterazzi hate hate HATE that.  They hate it.

Oh god they hate that.

My friend Greg sent me this video to cheer me up and now it has been my source of strength this past week. In theory, its everything that I am against, but the lyrics are so true to how I’ve been feeling and I like this chicks attitude about life.

Keep getting slick hoe,
Imma slap you with my phone.
When I knock your ass out,
You’re gonna hear a dial tone.

Pure poetry. Don’t you just love double edged swords.

Siddiqu Muhammad, Chicago’s own “Celebrity Trainer”, provides comedic relief and serious tips on how to get fit for the summer. And special guest, Violetness stops by to give an inspiring interview about life as an unusual vocal artist.

For additional information on NeHa’s fashion work, check out her press on our friend Kari’s blog: Above The Fray. For more info on the lovely Violetness, you can access her MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/violetnessmusic

PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
MBA – Clarke College

The last video was done by Natalie of Chicago. She inspires me to avoid celebrity interviews. HE ATE HER GOLDFISH!???!?!

CHICAGO –5/12/2009- Back for its second season, Nobody Dances Here Radio and Blog brings to you new and fresh talent, ideas, discussion, and of course your celebrity gossip! Starting this season off, NDH Radio takes a different turn and treats it’s listeners to a serious interview on a topic of violence with Karli Butler, a motivational speaker/ survivor and positive role model in the community, who shares a riveting tale of survival at its best. Also, later in the show, our topic becomes a little lighter with our next special guest, Elgin Smith, a graphic illustrator, who talks about her many experiences and artwork.

Karli Butler has endured her fair share of extreme adversity in life, but instead of dwelling on life’s downs, Ms. Butler has decided to share her story and speak out against violence and prevention to the youth in her community. Ms. Butler shares a story filled with the pain only a true survivor could know, but also the urgency of education and violence prevention that comes with such a story.

“My primary focus is discussion-based lectures pertaining to self-esteem, smart relationship decisions, and being a survivor of violence. I give advice on how to make smart dating decisions and stress the importance of knowing your partner. Most importantly, I try to demonstrate how self-esteem comes from within and can empower and heal the body and mind,” states Ms. Butler.

Elgin Smith is a graphic illustrator who also blogs on her various experiences. Smith has a unique gift in expressing different visions through innovative cartoon illustrations.

For additional information on Karli Butler, visit her Myspace website at http://www.myspace.com/karlispeaks Also, for additional information on Elgin Smith’s artowork, visit http://karitheillustrator.blogspot.com/

PR courtesy of Courtney L. Williams
MBA – Clarke College

Beauty calms me down.  I have a board of inspiration in my office here and another board with photographs from the 1930s and 40s.  I like to keep pictures of artwork, dancers, and things that I find intriguing.  One of my favorite pictures is this Olympic athlete suspended in the air.

Pinto graduated from SAIC in 1990 and has been sending shock-waves through the country with her impeccable clothing, which has graced the bodies of women of all varieties—but most notably, Michelle Obama. Pinto’s work has become famous for her ingenious use of texture treatments, experimentation with color and her undeniably keen eye for luxury. Women who wear Pinto’s unleash the goddess within, in part thanks to the effect her genius for fabric–who could help but feel divine in her beautifully crafted clothes?

Pinto recently donated a sheer pink dress from her archives to SAIC’s Fashion Resource Center. I saw it and immediately needed to be next it. Her talent is an enigma; her creations are perfect in their balance of pure art and wearability. It is approachable high fashion, which makes the Maria Pinto brand successful. Typically, big shiny things, odd shapes and non-traditional patterns intimidate Americans. But not even the dullest Judd could deny the gorgeous complexity of a Maria Pinto garment.

Because of her genius and her recent accomplishments, Pinto was honored as this year’s SAIC Legend of Fashion Award recipient. This followed the launch of her Spring 2009 collection, which is sexy, feisty, and unlike anything you have seen before. The shapes alone are enough to make your jaw drop.

 

While interviewing Maria, I noticed that she is not only one of the most inspiring figures in Chicago but she is also genuinely nice, charismatic and still retains the street smarts of a strong woman in a cold city. A business woman, an innovator, an artist, a revolutionary in Chicago fashion, Maria Pinto is a trailblazer whose fashions everyone should 
indulge in.

QXR: What was your first big break?

MP: During the early ‘80s and ‘90s, Joan Weinstein 
included some of my pieces in her boutique, which was a very big deal at the time. If she bought your collection, it was a testimony. It opened up many, many doors for me. After that I started selling at Barney’s, Sacks Fifth and Neimans.

QXR: What is your day like?

MP: It is so crazy. And I try to schedule in time for myself regularly. I love what I do. I want to get in the office and work. In the morning I try to have time for myself and I go to the gym to do yoga. And I have to designate design time within my work day. Some designers will design at home or after work. I put it into my work day so that I can use my free time to recover and relax.

QXR: Everybody seems to agree that Michelle Obama is gorgeous, but why? What exactly is it that makes Michelle Obama gorgeous?

MP: Well, with any woman, it is self-confidence and that comes through in anything. It’s about movement and physical expression. It doesn’t matter if you spend 200 dollars on a pair of jeans. It’s about how comfortable you are with yourself. There was an article a while back that asked one of my clients why she enjoyed wearing my clothing, and she said “Maria’s clothing makes me a better version of myself.” But she was already a fabulous person to start with, and my clothing just helped to bring that out. Beauty first comes through you. That’s why it’s good to be in good health. What’s most important is that you still have that foundation. Knowing yourself and knowing who you are. And what you have to remember is to find that beautiful part of you.

QXR: Could you offer any words of wisdom to college students who aspire to be like you in a few years?

MP: Be patient. And be committed to your studies. A lot of the time we think, “Ah, I just want to get through this!” But it’s not much different when you get out of school. School is the one time where you get to experiment. And when you do finish you have to think twice about what you are doing. You should use this time in school to embrace the opportunities. The reason I am so grateful about my experience at SAIC is that it taught me to work as an artist first.

This interview was featured in the May issue of F News Magazine. For more information about Maria Pinto and her clothing click here.

For more information on this artist click here.

Show Eugee some love by commenting!

I sincerely appreciate the comments, the recommendations, the subscribers (which has increased seriously this past week), and the pats on the back. If there is anything you would like for me to cover or focus on in the blog email me at admin@nobodydanceshere.com or hit the contact button above. This is part of my graduate thesis, so I am very serious about its success.

On a less serious note I had the following facebook conversation:

It pains me greatly to admit that the Britney Spears concert was a complete and utter let down. I have never had anyone disappoint me so much and this last Tuesday was possible the worst day of 200FINE.

Allow me to explain with bullet points :)

• She lip synched EVERYTHING.  Even the speaking parts she lip synched.  She thanked Chicago once, but did not engage at all with the audience.
• She had this stupid bored look on her face… I paid 173 dollars for my ticket and you can’t even wink at me?
• The chick is not dancing.  She occasionally marks stuff with her dancers but she spends most of her time walking around, being carried, and doing stripper moves on set parts… The experience was cheapened further because the performance is in the round so there were many times where she couldn’t be seen.  And also, she does half of the choreography on one side AND DOES THE EXACT SAME THING ON THE OTHER.  It’s like she insisted on taking the easy way out.
• I didn’t feel like I was at a circus. At all. Unlike Dream Within A Dream, there was no plot, no story, no theory behind the sequences.
• It was way too sexual, and seeing little kids there was a little disturbing.  The old Britney was playful and used a lot of innuendo in her costumes, this new whore was just down right gross at times in her 6 inch heels that made no sense to those of us who understand her many knee problems. :-/
• She does not perform any of the really good songs like “Gimme More” or “Phonography”.  This made the show very ordinary and the transitions unusually choppy.  Typically Britney has really good song transitions.  This tour is cluttered with stop-n-gos that are unnecessary.
• When the concert was over she ran straight off the stage… As if it were “Quitin’ Time” and she needed to clock out and head home.

Britney, why even bother?  I mean, do you want to persue something else that is more fulfilling… like finger painting? I just don’t get it.  I defended you through the bald head, the two kids, the I-told-you-so divorce with K-FED, and the unexplained arab affairs (which YOU DID NOT explain in that overrated documentary).  Do you not realize that I am a 23 year old grown man with your pictures all over my door?

And to make the entire experience more awkward, the opening act with the Pussycat Dolls had so much tension in the air you could cut it with a butter knife!  Nicole, who is the weirdest woman on earth, was showing out!  She purposefully oversang most of the songs and insisted on making these random sound effects while the other girls were singing.  And I think I am the only person who thinks that Nicole sounds like Ertha Kit when she talks… Apparently, this happened right before they came into chicago:

I am done with concerts.

Ryan Budds started his comedic career by winning the “Open for Dennis Miller” comedy contest sponsored by The Loop 97.9 in Chicago. Performing all over Chicago this surbanite gives insight on what it takes to be in the funny biz.

Ugorji Okorie, a current student at Loyola University Chicago from New Orleans, brings to Nobody Dances Here Radio, an eclectic mix of edgy beats which earned her the studio nickname of “The Black Lady Gaga”. Eugee is an artist currently on Le Chandeau record label and brings both her professionalism and great voice to NDH.

NOBODOYDANCESHERE is the brainchild blog /radio show of creator Quintin X. Roper. Quintin’s blog and radio show is a lifestyle and entertainment blog that focuses on current and popular issues such as art, fashion, music, politics, and film from a Chicago perspective.

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

Subscribe to the BLOG.

Podcast PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

Party Foul

Ok. OK. So if you laughed at the last one you are going to hell in a Honda.

But at least the price of gas has gone down. Thank Obama! ;)

CHICAGO –April 1, 2009 – Nobody Dances Here airs a special show featuring Sidddiqu Muhammad of Chicago Fit 4 Lifee. Visit www.nobodydanceshere.com to listen in on the discussion of art school spirit.

Siddiqu Muhammad made his debut earlier this season on our show topic about Fitness. You can access more information about him, his PT business and clothing line at http://www.cf4life.com/

NOBODOYDANCESHERE is the brainchild blog /radio show of creator Quintin X. Roper. Quintin’s blog and radio show, co-hosted by Elise Merriman is a lifestyle and entertainment blog that focuses on current and popular issues such as fashion, music, politics, and film.

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

Subscribe to the BLOG.

Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

CHICAGO –April 5, 2009 – Nobody Dances Here wraps up its first season with a no holds barred discussion about the annoying things about life in the Second City.  Visit www.nobodydanceshere.com to listen in on this hilarious banter featuring Elise, Quintin, and new co-host Crystal Joy. 

Crystal Joy is a undergraduate student in Chicago studying journalism.  She’s fiesty, sexy, and has a style that no one can touch.  More information about Crystal Joy can be found at www.nobodydanceshere.com as she will be a new regular in season 2. 

NOBODOYDANCESHERE is the brainchild blog /radio show of creator Quintin X. Roper. Quintin’s blog and radio show, co-hosted by Elise Merriman is a lifestyle and entertainment blog that focuses on current and popular issues such as fashion, music, politics, and film.

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

Subscribe to the BLOG.

Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

How do you get rid of the toxic people who are reeking havoc on your social and professional life?

Answer.

Give'm that Chris Brown facial.

Or.

Try this Friend Detox Test.

Stage I: Identifying the Toxic Friend

• Do you find it difficult (or not worth it) sometimes to explain how you feel about something to this person?
• Do they randomly make you feel guilty or trick you into taking blame?
• Do you dread their phone calls, chats, and text messages?
• Are you not completely “yourself” when this person is around?

If you said yes to all four of these move forward, if not stop whining.

• Don’t laugh.  But would you trust this person with your child?

If you thought long about that question (especially if you do not have children) and decided “No.” then you have established that this person is not trustworthy at all.  It is also safe to assume that you may have a certain level of fear or need to watch your back when you are around this person. And from the first four questions, you have determined that this individual is manipulative, kiniving, and a spiritual leech.  This is not someone that you want in your life.

Stage II: A Little Advice [from theFacebook]

let go of ANYONE who is in the LEAST trying to bring anything negative to your life! Let those heffas and assholes go! Its for the best! -Iesha

Just stay true to yourself and surround yourself with people who genuinely have your best interest at heart. And know that some of your biggest “haters” will be those who you expect to be your biggest supporters. Don’t take it personally, cause it’s not about you. -Allegra

Stage III: Plan of Action

• Start putting yourself first.  If you instinctively feel like hanging out with someone or talking to them will make you feel anything but great, DON’T DO IT.  Conveniently make yourself “Busy”.
• Distance.  You can slowly, exponentially place more distance between you and this person.  This distance can be physical/geographical or social/psychological.  If it is a co-worker, you should be able to do this without affecting your working relationship.
• Find a support system.  As “Oxygen Network” as this sounds, you will need close friends you trust to vent to and to keep updated on your progress.  In theory, you are escaping an abusive relationship so the process is the same.
• Be nice and mature.  Honesty is always appreciated but there is no need to be rude or put on a show.  No need to give them a taste of their own medicine.  And no need to turn this into a public display.  Remember, you are preserving your sexy.  Sexy people don’t do anything that will cause wrinkles.  End of story.
• Stop saying their name.  Every time you give this person a thought, you give them power.  The goal is to relinquish the demon out of your life.  This person should not be a recurring role in your prime time drama.  You are the star of the show.  This person is just another washed up actor on a VH1 reality show trying to make a quick buck.

It will take a while. Trust me. But it’s worth it. You will be in a more positive light that will attract more positive people to you. And this will empower you to be extremely productive.

[iTunes Podcast]

As I looked at Smith’s work, however, not once did I consider his autism, and I felt ambivalent about how this trait played such an important part in the show. His drawings are beautiful. They demonstrate the skill of a mastermind and an exceptionally refined technique. What I saw at the Cultural Center was highly original and unlike anything I have seen displayed there before. But his talent does not seem to be the focus of the show. Instead, the gallery is filled with notices about his disability, the good work of Project Onward and the importance of art for people who have been able to overcome “hardships.” The Devil’s Advocate would ask, “What if Michael Smith was not diagnosed with his disability? What if Michael Smith was considered normal by societal standards? Would his work be as strong? Would he be receiving my praises?”

My answer is a resounding: Yes.

Smith’s drawings of people—despite their trippy-psychedelic appearance—are real and elegant. Their high cheek bones and well groomed hair were curiously provocative. This exhibit came out of the mind of someone who understands culture, style and sophistication. He may not be able to articulate it with his words, but he can most vividly produce it in images. The amount of detail he inserts into the clothing and background is unique and clever (For those of you who are studying fashion illustration, you might want to make a visit to the Cultural Center for a dose of how it’s done.) His perspective offers a refreshing approach to the method of communicating the ideas of a garment to the eye. I obviously do not expect to see his grapefruit colored poka-dot shorts or plum bow ties on the runway any time soon, but his concepts for them are charmingly communicated.

This show is excellent – don’t let the “disability angle” deter you from taking it seriously. Project Onward does terrific work in ensuring that artists with special needs are able to obtain income and recognition for their artwork and the Cultural Center is certainly doing its part for Autism Awareness Month. But as the older brother of someone with special needs, I also feel it is important that these artists are given exposure to the mainstream art world of Chicago. Their work possesses the same amount of blood, sweat and tears as anyone else’s and I think there are more ambitious ways to allow these gifted individuals to suck up more of the limelight.

I would love to see the artists of Project Onward go beyond the walls of Gallery 37. They are more than just artists with special needs. They are competition.

 

This article is featured in the April issue of FNews Magazine

[iTunes Podcast].

Why isn’t it 5 o’clock yet?

Huh?!

And what on God’s troubled Earth inspired these people to make these songs?

Could the woman in that last video look anymore bored? Perhaps she should take some performance lessons from this girl.

[iTunes Podcast]

So, I have been on this online networking quest for the past month; adding friends to thefacebook and Twitter, in hopes of sharing and exchanging ideas and info. Yada Dee Dah.

Nothing new.

Then I noticed something. Everyone and their momma is on these things. :-/ And for no reason. They just have an account. And are awkwardly trying to be a part of the trend.

“Yes, you have successfully created a Twitter account… but you only have 3 people following you and the last time you tweeted was two weeks ago…”

And it’s even worse on thefacebook.

The entire anchor team of ABC 7 Chicago is now on facebook. All of them. And it is extremely obvious that this was “strongly encouraged”. They are just there… with work photos… and cute status updates pertaining to what they anchor about (like the weather, or sports, or health food…) And you know what, THAT is fine. That is acceptable, and at times very entertaining. Watching someone facebook against their will is both hilarious and anti-American. But even I have my limits of respect. As much as I would like to tell Steve Dolinsky that the Indian restaurant he highly recommended last year ruined the idea of brunch for me, I hold back. Mr. Dolinsky is a human being and he and his facebook wall deserve a certain level of respect, especially since we don’t really know each other well enough for me to be posting “Hey Crack Addict! You owe me 17.50!”

I won’t do it. I like Steve. Steve is an okay dude.

So imagine how I, an up-and-coming fashion journalist, felt when I saw this on Silvia Perez’s wall:

From Kathy Br****:

Sylvia,

Congratulations- You are a successful Chicago celebrity who has earned the privilege of having a personal stylist!

Personal Vogue Chicago’s leading wardrobe consulting company focuses on defining and refining personal style to create lasting first impressions everyday.

Want to Put Personal back in your Vogue??

Most women only wear 30% of what’s in their closet! That’s 70% of pure waste of shopping, money, and closet space!

We would love to show you how Personal Vogue can help you create a sassy contemporary look by editing your current wardrobe and then shopping in your own closet- using your existing wardrobe- saving you time, money and lots of aggravation.

We can make about 30 new looks- top to toes- in a 3 hour session.

We work with many celebrity clients-we are confidential and respect privacy.

Let us visit your closet- we promise to add a little “Bam to your Mam” for spring 2009!

www.******.com
312-***-****

Kathy… Are you kidding?

• First of all, “Chicago celebrity” is an oxymoron.
• Personal Vogue… Really?  Really…
• Silvia is quite sexy and doesn’t need any assistance in that department, thank you very much.
• Three hours to look into her closet? You know we can’t see anything she wears below her waist right? There is a desk that blocks her bottom half.  And if she has anything hiding in her closet, I’m sure Silvia does not want her business out on the well groomed streets of Chicago.  I’m just saying.
• And finally… THE ECONOMY IS BAD.  How many times does Obama have to point out that this situation we are in is because of unnecessary spending.  You CLEARLY posted that not for Silvia, but for other people to see… (Myspace is at myspace.com, not sure if you knew that…)

Since when did copying and pasting ads on facebook walls become a classy thing to do?  You have a legitimate business… you are not some broke college student trying to promote a liquor party at some bougie club!

Shame on you.

Mmm. [head shaking in disapproval]

DAMN YOU KATHY!

[iTunes Podcast]

Don’t you just hate that artist formely known as Puff-Daddy-the-2nd-Hype-Man-of-the-Notorious B. I. G. ?

I’ve always disliked him. But after he ruined Danity Kane, those feelings have been supersized. The ego, the played out swagger, and the annoying billboard that is STILL in the middle of Times Square, NY… it’s a joke, right? I mean, I’m not trying to instigate anything but if there were ever a conspiracy in hip hop………………………..

[longest awkward silence in history]

Moving on.

Always wanting something that isn't is...

Ok.

NOW we can move on…

If there is anything to be happy about in regard to the BBE, it is Lil’ Kim who is tearing it up on “Dancing With the Stars”. I love this woman. I did not see it coming. Her form, her timing, and her performance level are shockingly amazing. AND she is so cute and adorable even though “her nasty gutterskank ass is banned in the Roper household” according to my mom…

Just makes you wish that she could be on reality TV more often than “Puff” the Minstrel Show. (‘Ol wack ass…)

Watch and support Lil’ Kim, she’s greatastic!

Lil' Kim, can we be besties?

[iTunes Podcast]

CHICAGO –March 31, 2009 – Nobody Dances Here invites all to join in on the conversation of arts and community with special guest Pro Blak. Visit www.nobodydanceshere.com to listen in on the radio interview featuring Pro Blak as he speaks on his love for the arts community and how he uses his music to help out in the community.

Pro Blak is a local rapper who grew up in Chicago and has overcome many adversities in his life. He uses the struggles he has endured, such as losing a best friend, as a platform to contribute a positive message to the community. Pro Blak makes a strong effort to give people hope through his music and he shows that through his mentoring efforts to young children.

“I am a firm believer that lyrics matter,” states Pro Blak on the importance of music in the community.

Pro Blak strives to continue the part he plays in building up the Chicago community through his music and volunteer efforts.

For additional Information on Pro Blak and his interview, visit www.nobodydanceshere.com.

NOBODOYDANCESHERE is the brainchild blog /radio show of creator Quintin X. Roper. Quintin’s blog and radio show, co-hosted by Elise Merriman is a lifestyle and entertainment blog that focuses on current and popular issues such as fashion, music, politics, and film.

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

Subscribe to the BLOG.

Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

And for what it’s worth, I really don’t care (because I’m pretty and my president is black…)

But when you say that you are “too busy” to do something, do you realize that you, yourself, are lying. Yes! Do not shake your head. You are a balding, toothless liar, and if you are ALWAYS saying that you are too busy to do something, you will discover a loss of trust, friendships, and networking opportunities. And when you’re young or trying to do big things with your life, that’s practically suicide.

I have noticed, that when people say that they are too busy they really mean:

• I do not want to do that.
• I waited until the last minute to think about it, and now I really can’t do it.
• I’m not willing to give this any effort.
• I do not have time management skills. I get away with procrastination.
• My life isn’t going the way I want it to, so I’m not interested in anything.

The differences between a person who “says” that they are busy and a busy person are:

• A busy person makes times.  If they miss a deadline, the are quick to follow up and will provide progress reports (even if its unneccessary, the guilt will keep a busy person in contact).
• A busy person actually does a lot of work in addition to the task they doing.  Typically “Too Busy People” aren’t doing that much.  There is a noticeable amount of time dedicated to lounging around, socializing, and avoiding work.
• A busy person likes keeping busy.  Ever notice how legitimately busy people don’t complain about fun things?  You’ll never hear them complain intensely about having to go to a party, or having to play SODUKU, or having to participate in a hobby…. People who are too busy will talk your ear off about all of these things as if they didn’t know they had a choice to not do any of it.
• People who are “too busy” have a really bad tendency to show that they are not busy by either admitting their laziness at a later date, or making it publicly known that they are bored or not doing anything via thefacebook and Twitter.  The bastards.

The main difference between the two is:

P A S S I O N

Passionate people don’t stand you up or blow you off.

Passionate people don’t make promises that they can’t keep.

A passionate person is respectful, considerate, and honest (like a Catholic on Ash Wednesday).

So before you agree to help someone, take on a project, or make social plans, DON”T BE A POSER.  Ask yourself, “Am I really going to do this” and then answer accordingly.

Shake that thing Miss Kananana!

[iTunes Podcast]

I have a “Prince-Like Presence”….

I have heard this many times before. But I do not know what it means… What do you think?

This my be more Oscar worthy than the last comparison I had.

[iTunes Podcast]

CHICAGO –March 24, 2009 – Before logging hours and countless search terms into the Google search engine on fashion, visit www.nobodydanceshere.com to listen in on the radio interview featuring local fashionistas Jenny Fine and Kari Skaflen.

Jenny Fine is a local aspiring designer who is self taught. Not just limited to fashion design, Ms. Fine also does sculpting, jewelry design, and choreography. Ms. Fine has created costume designs for the Latin Dance studio here in Chicago and is currently working on a series of two-dimensional designs she will be shopping around shortly.

“The fashions I create are very much in the style of Imitation of Christ, a design house that came up in the nineties that reworked vintage, thrift store clothing and put it on the runways…,” Ms. Fine states.

Kari Skaflen is editor and founder of Above the Fray Magazine and also runs a blog in connection to the magazine. Ms. Skaflen comes from a very diverse background, having a BA in French, an MA in European Studies, and has also lived in France.

According to Ms. Skaflen, “I am constantly inspired by the creativity fashion embodies. I see it as a social mirror that reflects a collective mood and says far more than most imagine.”

Jenny Fine and Kari Skaflen, both making Chicago as their home base, embrace both their diverse backgrounds while also incorporating the Chicago essence into their work in fashion.

For additional Information on Kari Skaflen, visit www.abovethefray.com.

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

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Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

I don’t know if she is just having too much fun or not taking the meds, but I know that if I don’t get my 108 dollars worth of third row seat entertainment, I will go Barrack in that bitch. I have a can of mase. And I will use it.

All of it.

I am not playing. I have waited a decade to see this hooker perform live.

Look! A real dancer with no kids...

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Subscribe to the BLOG.

On the 25th of every month in 2009 we will be able to have some fun and dress up in 80s attire! [The business], having been open for 25 years, deserves some recognition so we want all staff to get involved! Workout clothes from the 80’s can be worn during your shift so put the ******* uniforms away and be as crazy as you want (nothing inappropriate of course). The attached file will give you some outfit ideas but if you have any questions let me know!

Attached was this:

Each month on the 25th day, all ******* staff is encouraged to wear clothes from the 1980’s to further reinforce our branding of our 25 year anniversary (*******’s first Club opened in 1984).

A few suggestions on trendy 80’s clothes:

Madonna
Miami Vice
Multiple accessories
Big hair
Hair gel
Side pony tail
Shoulder pads
Leggings and leg warmers
Slouch sox
Parachute pants
Rolled sleeves
Tight stonewashed jeans
Sweat suits

We’d like to see you all in 80’s clothes next Wednesday, March 25, and please be prepared to take some photos. Thank you for helping us celebrate our 25th year anniversary in a fun way!

I’m a fitness instructor part time, which means that I will be essentially working out in a costume.  And because I am a creature of convenience I would be coming to work dressed in a costume…

on the streets of Chicago…

Or get written up for non-participation.  Your thoughts?

Before you comment watch this V I D E O

Now offer your advice.

I'm a little lost...

Forget that groundhog BS. YOU KNOW its spring in Chicago when you have some dingy runt with a head shaped like a melted Rollo asking you to donate money to his imaginary basketball team all while causing havoc and recourse on the subway. All I want to do, is take my 10 minute ride to Lincoln Park so I can go to work. That’s all. It’s what I do every week… But this day decided to be warm out. So the international BeBe’s kids are blasting music out of their Walgreens mini-speakers, making fun of people on the train, and sitting on the floor next to the doors preventing people from using them, all while shoving this dirty piece of paper in our faces to pitch their “basketball team” without making eye contact. When the party is over in one train car, it moves in a single line formation to the next and then comes back once new people have entered the train.

And this is what your summer in Chicago will be like. Only worse. Downtown Evanston by the movie theatre on a weekend night? Pppphh. Chicagoans PLEASE tell me I’m not the only one who feels aggravated by this. What have you experienced? :)

Your Therapy:

I love Twitter. I cannot explain why. I love it as much as I love Britney Spears, and for those of you who know me, YOU KNOW that’s an undying affair that needs medical attention.

Now I hate starting fights. I would never in a million years want to start a fight with anyone….. [awkward cough/long silence]

But have you SEEN the new facebook layout? Did you even notice it? Those slick ricks made their layout even more Twitterish so that all of the content on your page and your friends pages look like a micro-blog.

Let us NOT forget how the con-artist formerly known as thefacebook.com tried to rob us of our ownership rights like a Gypsy in a nursery. And I am still trying to get over the fact that I have deactivated my account three times and have NEVER LOST ANY CONTENT?!?!?!?! Isn’t that spooky? It is the only website that stores your information forever….

The Secret Phrase Is:

I have no respect for facebook whatsoever. It is the scum beneath my shoe. Of course it is a powerful tool in connecting with people but I honestly think Twitter is better. If you were a facebook whore like I used to be, Twitter is like paradise. No photos or wall posts to deal with. And definitely no issues with rights and constant layout changes. It is neat and as professional as you want it to be.

If you are new to Twitter, it will be a very unfamiliar process. But soon enough, you will find yourself with new online buddies who share the same interests as you and can also assist you in your quest for information, inspiration, and entertainment. So you heard it hear first, Quintin is on Team Twitter and is pro-choice when is comes to facebook.

Abort That Mess

Definitely the most controversial broadcast we have had yet. I don’t want to ruin any of the surprises but Sydney is probably the funniest person we have had yet.

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Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

I’m not from the 31st century.

I don’t conform and I don’t believe in kissing anyone’s derrier which accounts for the many C’s and B-’s I received in undergrad as a Theatre Major. And now, I find myself in grad school knowing that I was right in some of the dangerous choices I made. I managed to piss a few of my teachers off. One of whom shall get the Chris Brown Beat Down of his life if I ever catch him in a well lit alley.

If you are in college and you have noticed that the academia is a little bullshitty, know that you are not alone. It is a necessary evil you must conquer in order to move up into the professional world. Granted, college is not for everyone but not everyone aspires to be a mechanic, nanny, or stay-at-home child. That big dream of yours requires some documentation and financial backing, and once you have started YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH.

The most annoying thing of the year 200Fine is the abundance of people I went to school with who have sort of dwindled in their hopes of being great. The dream has been put on a permanent pause while they make merry with other lost causes and distractions.

If you are a dancer… but haven’t been dancing lately….
Or if you are an actor…. but have not been technically acting….
Or if you are an entrepreneur…. but business plans haven’t yet been established…
Or if you are a pimp…. but can’t convince anyone to work for you….

Yeah…. You get the point. No one said it would be easy. And if you are not overbooked with time, losing hours of sleep, working towards perfecting your craft, and constantly crossing off things on your list of goals while jotting down new ones; then you’re out of the game. It’s done. You will only be as good as average, and you’re name will mean nothing. A nobody.

The thought alone makes me shiver.

NOBODY likes a nobody.

Siddiqu Muhammad of Chicago Fit 4 Life came to the studio and not only had Elise and I cracking up but gave our listeners some very useful tips about fitness.

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

Subscribe to the BLOG.

Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

So, what did Quintin learn from this broadcast?

• Mykhall’s dry humor is pure genius and he must come back for future shows.
• Install a two strike rule for callers who can’t turn the volume down on their computers.
• Overbooking is always better than having just the right amount. The cancellations were really heart breaking, but with Obama and the Modelquins by my side, I am sure I will recover.

Or to listen to this in a separate window, CLICK HERE

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

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Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

What…..?

It was a teenage fantasy: getting paid to smile and dance on national television, all while wearing cheap neon colored clothing.

“Let’s Go!” Jamie suggested. She wanted to get shorts for an audition and I wanted to look at the big pictures they always have at the store. Those jolly teasers that remind me that I’m not there yet.

We walked into the store.

“Ew. What the hell are these….”

Jamie and I were met with some strange looking mannequins. They were different heights, ages, genders, and ethnicity…. The diversity of the group was disturbing.

We made our way through the store. And I though to myself… “Something is not right…”

It took a good 15 minutes for me to notice what was going on. Then I saw it. [I am crying as I type this]

I expected to see those large ads of fun loving beautiful people getting jiggy in their new Old Navy spring apparel.

Um… [shaking my head in completely disbelief and denial]

Y’all. Old Navy is so broke, that THEY ARE USING MANNEQUINS IN THEIR ADS INSTEAD OF REAL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, you may be saying to yourself, Quintin, WTF, who cares. And to be honest, I am totally with you UNTIL you see that these mannquins have been given special names, have their own magazine/newsletter, and talk! Yes. THEY TALK! In between the pop songs being played you here a female voice say, “Hi. My name is Shannon. I am one of the new Old Navy modelquins and I may be made of plastic and unable to bend my limbs but I know a good sale when I see one!”

Are you jiking me?

Is the economy SO BAD that Gap Inc can’t even afford to pay real people to be in their ads? They even have a commercial out to match, so YOU KNOW they planned this as a last ditch effort.

And its ALL OVER THE STORE. Modelquins EVERYWHERE just smiling at you. Letting you know that even with all the talent in the world… Now you REALLY can’t be in an Old Navy ad…. unless you go into voice over work.

Obama. Dude, seriously. Quit playing. This is no longer a game.

In this episode, we also interview Tiara Wiles. She was so cool and down to earth. And her music is, dare I say it, “Da Bomb Diggity!”

Or to listen to this in a separate window, CLICK HERE

Want more info about Tiara Wiles? Check her out on myspace, youtube, and twitter!

You can also check out Maggie’s website too while you’re at it. ;)

Check out the PODCAST on iTUNES.

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Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

Currently, my grad peers and I are supposed to be hunting down internships for next spring. According to my internship counselor, I am attempting to do the impossible: land an on-air hosting gig… that pays… at a major studio… that doesn’t suck eggs.

Well, they told Barrack to sit his skinny tail down back in ‘07. Perhaps I will have his same luck?

We've come a long way. No turning back now.

So…

being the trained actor that I am…

I have included a few videos to show what dating has done to me.

Erica, I’m working on it. Keep an eye out for Part II. It will be a marvel! ;)

Oh, the stories I have to tell.

Yeah… um…

Look at this and you will either be really sad or feel really guilty for laughing.

I hope that some day, my own hair will save me from the violence of an understandably angered thug baby daddy.

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Radio show PR courtesy of Courtney Williams.

Today, I find myself laughing at the irony that a century ago a literate black man was to be outlawed, and here I am, an articulate journalist, speaking of how evil white people “used to be.” These comments don’t come from a bitter place of resentment, but if we are to discuss exactly what Black History is, we can’t overlook the past realities of slavery, segregation, racism, prejudice, inequality, lynching, ridicule, gentrification, and psychological deterioration. So how do we define this month and why is it important?

Well, in my opinion, the 28 day holiday serves as an annual reminder that, as a Black American, I must be on my ultimate hustle. To achieve greatness, I have to work 12 times harder than any of my white peers just to be viewed as “equal”. I used to get made fun of for being an overachiever. Most people don’t understand my need to work overtime as my passion to go to school full time. Everyone makes comments about me doing too much. I used to have a part time job at Niketown and had a hard time making friends because being in grad school with high goals and no children while black was a bit odd. But when you experience the true meaning of being Black in America, it’s hard to accept anything less than perfect. You either go hard or go home.

Each February I am reminded of all the ridiculous, unrealistic, “Lifetime: Television Made for Women” BS I had to endure the previous year. At the moment, I am reflecting about my life as an undergraduate at my former school’s Theatre Department. This was a very special place where professors told me that I must minds because being in grad school with high goals and no children, while black, was a bit odd. But when you experience the true meaning of being Black in America, it’s hard to accept anything less than perfect. aster a black dialect because that would be 80% of my work, that I had good auditions but didn’t really quite “fit” any of the roles, and that my type would lead to a career playing stereotypes. I graduated having played a criminal, a servant, a juvenile delinquent, and a voodoo priest in some of their productions. Now, I am at SAIC pursuing a career in journalism.

For someone like me, Black History Month is a time to just think about how corrupt everything is. But it is also an opportunity to inspire change. Oh, yes. There’s that word again, “change”. And thanks to Obama and his incredible league of good doers, the word has been beaten into our skulls. But before we allow it become another cliche term (such as “getting jiggy”) we must really make an attempt to understand what changes can be made. Do you acknowledge security guards on campus? Do you surround yourself with a diverse group of people? Have you ever watched BET? Have you ever been on the south side? Would you ever date someone outside of your race? Do you have any role models who are not white? Did you answer “no” to any of these questions? Are you lying to me? Okay. Now we are getting somewhere.

For the most part, no one takes this month seriously and I doubt anyone in my new setting will be actively engaged in anything beyond Oprah and Obama—but Black History Month is a little bit more than just reading a poster about Martin Luther King Jr. It’s a little bit deeper than knowing that Jackie Robinson played baseball and that Harriette Tubman was a conductor on the Underground Railroad. The bottom line, is that there is no excuse for any American of any race not to take interest in Black History Month because as the McDonald’s commercials say, “Black History is American History”. We should all be very aware of the history of our country included regardless of how uncomfortable it makes us feel. Black History Month is a like a friendly Google reminder that pops up and says “Hey Bucko, Black people are important too!” But do you click on the ads and do a little investigating on the subject or do you merely hit the ignore button?

So I strongly urge you to take a risk in February 2009. Go ahead! You’re in school. Educate yourself. Yes, you might have voted for a Black president but there are still major problems with race in this country and knowledge is the first step in repairing that. Before you can allow yourself to have any spirited reaction to this article, I would hope that it sparked an interest in more information.

And for those of you who have been protesting for a White History Month, may I remind you that every fourth thursday of November we are all forced to celebrate the genocide and extinction of Native Americans… I mean seriously, since when did going away parties become annual?

Bout it. Bout it.

 

The Chicago History Museum is exhibiting “Chic Chicago”: its one of a kind collection of historical costumes that date from 1861 to 2008, all worn by Chicago women. Curated by Timothy Long, the exhibit displays the most breathtakingly beautiful garments you will ever get the opportunity to see in this city.

What first struck me about this show was Tracy Gerladez’s smart layout of mannequins in the calm gallery space, which immediately made me feel as though I had entered a safe place where my curiosities and need for inspiration were caringly fulfilled. The dresses are grouped by key eras of fashion, and the transitions between trends are cleverly placed along a runway. It is easy to navigate, with detailed literature provided about each garment, its creator and the person who wore it.

All of the costumes had interesting details, innovative shapes and illuminating textures. Roy Halston’s orange off-the-shoulder silk jersey evening gown (made in 1970) bestowed the most beautiful draping techniques I have ever seen: the energy of the gown spirals into the left hip as the fabric gracefully falls to the floor. Visually, Halston’s dress has a lot of movement while impressively maintaining a simple goddess silhouette.

Paul Poiret’s 1913 “Sorbet Dress”—probably the most famous dress in the entire collection—is a black and white satin masterpiece. Noted for being the first of the modern era, the Japanese inspired garment did away with the notion that women should be in corsets. Instead, Poiret offers a comfortable and cute alternative, complete with chiffon and glass beads.

Another piece that would cause anyone’s jaw to drop is Charles James’s “Butterfly” ball gown. Ironically, if you look hard enough at it, you can see that James literally created a wrapped cocoon body for the main piece and completed it with a lavish cape of wings. The bone and tan color used for the 17 pound piece is stunning, but you are left concerned about the comfort of the lucky woman wearing it.

While you are not allowed to touch the garments, some offer miniature components so that you can see how the garment was technically crafted. The exhibition and catalogue designers managed to made everything look so…. sexy. Overall, “Chic Chicago” displays an unusual level of elegance, and it was very pleasing to know that in a non-fashion capital, the city still has highly sophisticated fashion etiquette.

This piece is also featured in the upcoming issue of F News Magazine!

I used to be so angry.

At everything.

CAUSE:

And Effect:

Now do you understand my struggle? ;)

I got a "D" in AP Econ too...

Do you really understand this economic recession? And do you fully understand how are banking system works? Below I am supplying you with complete answers for both!

First: How did we get into this recession?

Stage 1: The Beginning
In late 2001 the housing market began to pick up due to the fact there was a lot of home financing options that could get almost ANYONE into a home.

Stage 2: The Set Up
As each year passed, we saw drastic increases in home values which made home ownership more attractive and popular however a lot of people were not able to get normal bank loans because of credit history or the inability to prove income or “the ability to pay”.

Stage 3: The Bastard Idiots
Here comes the SUBPRIME MORTGAGE INDUSTRY. This was basically a large group of banks allowed financing to people regardless of their credit and 9 times out of ten they could avoid proving income. They didn’t even have to bring money to closing (which inflated home values even more because people weren’t putting real money into buying these homes)

Stage 4: The Time Bombs
These companies were giving away loans at HIGH INTEREST RATES AND RIDICULOUS CLOSING COST WITH PAYMENTS TO DOUBLE AFTER 2 YEARS.

Stage 5: The Rich Bastard Idiots
These high interest rate mortgages along with a rising housing market accompanied by a weak stock market became an attractive ALTERNATIVE INVESTMENT… And here is where it gets fun. Now we have billion dollar investment banking firms (Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, so on and so on) buying this mortgage debt because the return on investment made their greedy mouths water.

Stage 6: The Perfect Storm
These people that should have NEVER gotten the loans realized they could not afford the high rate mortgages especially after a few years when these time bomb mortgage payments doubled. These subprime loans even made it difficult for customer to refinance to a new loan by charging them thousands of dollars to pay off their loans early (prepayment penalties). These mortgages started going bad rapidly. At the same time people slowed down in purchasing houses. Values dropped, more and more homeowners began to default on their mortgages to the point where mortgage companies where foreclosing them so much it was putting them out of business. Then all that mortgage paper became TOXIC investments meaning it costs you money if you owned these mortgages.

FINAL STAGE: The Outcome
Q: So who owns these toxic mortgages?
A: Our biggest billion dollar investment banking firms.

When these giants toppled it affected the ability for other businesses to obtain credit to operate. Now businesses are firing people because they can’t afford them. Now people can’t buy homes because of no jobs and banks are more strict than ever. And it’s now a big circle of big business that never put enough away for a raining day and now the government is literally printing money that we as tax payers are holding the check for. (All credit for this information goes to Mr Official).

Ok. So if you are still a little confused or hungry for more information about YOUR money, take a look at how our flawed banking system actually works. It is set up to continue this cycle of surplus and recession IE this will not be the last time we have a bad economy.

Isn’t that jacked up? Obama… The party is over dude.

But there has always been a special place in my heart for Rhianna ever since she asked Mister DJ “pon da replay.”

Here is a list of reasons why I have often fantasized about beating Rhianna in her face:

1. She was in the sequel to “Bring It On”… and had lines… (whose idea was that).
2. She ruined Nike commercials for me.
3. She replaced Christian Milian and stole the song S.O.S. from her.
4. Her head is too small for her body.
5. She talks funny.
6. No one from here home land of Barbados likes her.
7. She cannot give an interview to save her life.
8. She cannot dance… at all…
9. She had the audacity to laugh at Britney Spears during the VMAs.  Even though my baby sucked, Rhianna has NEVER in her life been able to carry on a decent performance.
10. She’s only 20.
11. They are considering her to play a young version of Storm.  Halle Berry was bad enough in that role, why continue that legacy.
12. She made one of my friends cry at the Walgreen on Michigan Avenue… allegedly.
13. I have been told she works for Satan…. If you don’t believe that, go YouTube and search rhianna + satan
14. Her chunky legs are insured for over a million dollars!?!?!?

So you can understand why Chris Brown had to handle his business on that girl.  I totally get it.  Chris, this makes us best friends now.  I couldn’t stand you until I heard the good news.  You are my hero and your Super Sweet 18 did not suck as much as I told people.

Sincerely Enjoying the Irony,

Quintin

Disturbia, SOS, and Rehab have new meanings to her.

What? Too soon?! Phhhh. We have a black president now. I can do whatever I want.

http://freeradiosaic.org/radio/shows/53/

Tune in this SUNDAY at 8pm Central! You can call in, email, or chat live with us during the broadcast. The first topic this week will be about Romance and Friendships. The following week… (drum roll) Race Relations in Chicago. This would be a prime time to throw in your two cents.

You can stream the live broadcast from your browser OR through i-tunes and Windows Media Player.

Here is our cheap attempt to make publicity:

I love photoshop.

The sun was beaming, the streets were bustling, the air was crisp and I had breakfast. I was feeling the big city mojo as I strutted the crowded streets during lunch hour on my way to a broadcast orientation.

Yes, I was completely and utterly full of myself today. Some might say that I caught “the spirit”. I couldn’t be stopped. I was completely optimistic about e-ver-y-thing.

Then, I found myself on State Street. And the ego only got bigger. I began to hear drum beats.

And my mood change. My energy changed. My aura transformed. It was an urban melody of funk and hip hop that swayed back and forth between tribal throwbacks and warrior anthems. I felt mighty. And suddenly, I was in the zone. The crowds of people disappeared and the sidewalk had turned itself into a one man runway. The layers of winter sweats became French Vogue and I started to smile with my eyes. I was charging towards Madison without skipping a beat, my steps strong like bull. I almost make it to the end of the runway to greet the press and then:

PHWAAAAAP!

[silence]

The young urban youth lost his grip of the drum stick… which made its way to my face.

“My Bad…”

I bent over to pick up the old and beaten drumstick that was questionably sticky and handed it to him as a peace offering.

A few test taps on the plastic barrel, and he is back in business.

As for me… my face hurts. Badly. And I have to walk just as fast to avoid the “are you okays” and chuckling.

Just when you think you are on top of the world, the universe has a way of reminding you that you are not above getting injured.

Quintin: So… What is up?

Dana: Are you okay!?!?!?!?!!?

Quintin: Yes.  Are you… O. K.?

Dana: Are you in your room?

Quintin: Nope.

Dana: I thought you were upset or something. But I think someone just vandalized your door?

Quintin:  I beg your pardon…?

Dana: Someone ripped all of your pictures of your door.

Quintin: >:-((

I had to compose myself.  Initially I felt angry and hurt.  Why would someone do that.  I put myself in a state of disbelief on the way home.  That was until I stepped off the elevator and saw this in front of me:

 

For those of you who know me, I am a hardcore non-stop til you drop let me see your bottle pop… (cough) fan… of Britney Spears.  I do think the chick is a little Lupe Fiasco but she has my heart.

I had placed the images on the door as sort of an inside joke.  I found them in my storage unit from a few years ago.  My friend Michelle had given them to me as a gift for my half-birthday and I kept them because it was a very nice gesture.  I’m at a very serious art school… so it was supposed to be a “ha-ha” that’s funny sort of thing… not a “let’s ruin his day” invitation.

My jaw dropped.  I was shocked.  I kept thinking “What did I do to deserve this?” If I wanted to have Britney Spears on my door, isn’t it my American right?  We have a new president initiating a new era of change and yet there are still people who feel the need to inflict pain and sadness on others… who they don’t even know…?

I did some investigating.

It was two white undergraduate females who may or may not have been drunk.  And it happened around 2am.  I am usually awake at that time.  If I had came home early like planned or if I were doing my usual laps of pacing in deep thought around the room, I would have been there to stop them… and I probably would have killed them.  Could you imagine?  Catching someone in the act of disrespecting your property… What do you do in a situation like that?  I am sure that I would have blacked out and the “Phoenix-Quintin” would have taken over.  “This just in… Grad Student murders two innocent white females…”

It took time to recover.

Everyone in the building (My RAs, the Securitas staff, and random strangers who I was surprised to learn enjoyed the door) sent over their condolences. I was very touched.  So I decided to fight fire with fire.

 

If you are really that insecure and angry about Britney Spears, it is my greatest pleasure to rub that bitchassness in your face until you die of anxiety attacks.  Not only is the door ridiculous and over the top, I made sure to make it look as annoying and blunt as possible.

I win.

Hardy Har Har,

QX

PS.  Some of you might be thinking that this is going to encourage them to do it again.  I put word out that I am a ruthless killer and would destroy anyone who tries to get between me and my Britney Spears.  Quintin don’t play.  HE DON’T!

We call this Mardis Gras Face

I was on my way to Evanston to teach a kickboxing class via El train (aka vehicle of misery) when suddenly a former neighbor of mine gave me a big hello from a distance. I’ll keep his name anonymous and call him Mr. Kreepy.

Mr. Kreepy owned a convenience store a block away from my old Rogers Park apartment. He was authentically a nice and lonely 50 something who liked to spend most of his time (and mine) chatting. At first, it was harmless. I would walk down the street and he would pop his bald head out of the store door extremely happy to see me. He would ask me about fitness and what I was up to in college… It never dawned on me that perhaps I should consider alternative routes home. After all… he was just a well-intentioned senior citizen.

[I can feel some of you jumping out of your seat with excitement]

It became an unavoidable daily routine. The quickest way to get to my apartment required me to go pass his store. Eventually, I learned to run or even sprint by quickly hoping he would get the hint that I was in a hurry and did not have the hour or two to spare. Sometimes that didn’t work. Even when there was nothing to talk about he would find a way to guilt me in to a lengthy conversation that grew more awkward with time.

It ended once I moved.

Then a year later, the gentleman who looked like a younger version of Mr. Burns decided to hop on the purple line and his long lost friend, the fitness instructor, was there to endure another painful discussion.

When I first saw him, I gave him the patented “Quintin-does-not-want-to-talk-to-you-but-because-we-are-in-public-he-will-acknowledge-your-presence-with-a-wave-and-a-grimace” look and sat at the opposite end of the train. I was in mild shock. I pulled out my i-pod to distract myself for the next four stops when suddenly, “So how have you been?!”

He was loud.

He was extremely happy.

And he stuck out his hand as he sat right next to me.

“I’m great…. very…. great.” I shook his hand and got back to e-voiding with the i-pod.

“So, where have you been I haven’t seen you?”

“I moved.”

“Where?”

“To another neighborhood…”

I felt like I was having one of those teenage/parent conversations where you feel too grown to answer any of their questions completely.

“Well, the store closed. And I was still hoping to bump into you one of those days. Would have been nice to grab coffee or something. You are a really nice guy and I don’t meet too many nice people. And blah blah. Blah blah…. cubs game.. blah blah blah blah… walking down the street and blah blah blah blah blah… saw you on TV and blah blah…”

The i-pod was working. Not as great as I hoped, but I was tuning him out with Jay-Z. Jay-Z is my new best friend.

“And blah blah blah blah blah”

He continued to rant making deep eye contact. All I did was nod occasionally looking as this damned fool who was still wearing his convenient store uniform even though it had allegedly been closed.

“What stop are you getting off at?” I asked. I was legitimately curious because my ears were starting to hurt from “Change Clothes”

“Noyes,” He responded.

“Good!” I thought.

“You know…” he started. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I knew this was going to get progressively scarier. “I have been thinking about you a lot.”

He said that earlier. :(

And then, with all of his might and courage, as if he had been wanting to tell me this since day one:

“I even still write about you in my journal.”

[take a moment to compose yourself]

“Doors open to the right at Davis.”

“Oh! Well…um, that’s my stop. It was really nice seeing you.” I had never been so happy to be in downtown Evanston (aka lame country)

The happiness literally lasted for three seconds. He followed me off the train.

He followed me down the stairs.

He followed me outside.

He followed me down the street.

I’m sure in his head that he was “walking with” me as he fought with his heart to maintain my “danger danger” pace but I made sure to keep a healthy distance from him so that it would be legally documented as following.

He was too out of breath to continue any conversation. He would start a sentence when we came up to street corners. But I had no time to stand. I risked my life crossing the dangerous streets of suburban downtown Evanston because I could not believe the madness.

I approached the entrance to the gym when I realized that the streets were being blocked off for an outdoor art fare. A security guard stopped me and told me that I would have to pay to go pass this point. I let out a sigh of relief.

“I work here,” I assured him with my I.D.

He let me through with a smile. Finally, I got Mr. Kreepy away from me.

“I’m with him.”

I looked behind me. The security guard, without hesitation, let’s him..without question… just let’s him through…

Are you jiking me?

You’re job is to protect and SECURE people and you just let in my new official stalker….

Great.

At this point I was running late. I had no time to walk a few laps around the neighborhood to loose this guy. I had to head straight in, exposing him to where I work. Before I entered the doors I stopped him and said, “Okay, so I have to head in to work. You have a jolly day.” This is the only time in my life I have actually used the word “jolly”.

“Okay… well… maybe we can grab coffee or something.”

“Goodbye…”

He then leaned in to hug me and I said “No” very loudly as if a diseased puppy was about to jump on me. His feelings looked hurt but it got him away. As I walked in to the building I kept having these flashbacks of all the D.A.R.E. and Dee Dee Wallace seminars I had forced upon me when I was in elementary school. Thank God for that.

Thank you God.

God… seriously. Thank you.

Still alive,
QX

Naggers... of course.

Who is this guy:

He plays for the cardinals.

I don’t know this dude.  But I am hoping he does great things… worth making a major motion picture, so I can get that young oscar and pay off this college debt.  I’m just saying…

if Will Smith can play Ali [and other "convincing" roles]…..(?)

 

[Deep Sigh...]

But I digress.

On this friendate, Anita and I went to a movie, and ate at our favorite restaurant Quartino. And we were having so much fun, just laughing and talking and making jokes. We were like two happy pills skipping down the yuppie streets of downtown Chicago. And then, we saw it: GRAND OPENING!

We didn’t ask any questions. Typically my friendates with Anita are never planned out and happen at any given moment. I just randomly get a text or a facebook chat and five minutes to 1 hour later I am having the time of my life. But tonight… a certain place of business had to ruin that Black magic.

We had no idea what were getting into. I assumed it was frozen goodness! At that time, I was a confirmed ice cream addict, maxing out gallons of the stuff weekly while maintaining a slight four pack. “Berry Chill” the name sounded so hip, so now… so cool. And the line was quick AND someone in front of us gave us coupons to try the stuff for free! So it SHOULD have been a win-win.

Nuh-uh.

If you haven’t been to Berry Chill, let me give you a very brief description.

The interior is Michael and Janet Jackson’s SCREAM spaceship kitchen with white people working in it:

Toppings included all types of fruits, typical ice cream topics, and childhood cereals. Which was amazing to see them top on. HOWEVER. The non-dairy soft serve is a completely different story.

I order chocolate Berry Chill with chocolate chips, Cocoa Puffs, and Chocolate Sauce.

Anita ordered vanilla Berry Chill with starfruit, strawberries, and kiwi.

Me and Anita were extremely excited for what we thought was a blessing. We walked down Ohio street toward Michigan when I took my first bite. And then I got silent. Anita, who was struggling through her cup of betrayal started laughing. I took three more spoonfuls to salvage the cereal and chocolate chips. After accidentally putting more of the disgusting bee piss into my mouth, I shoved the cup into a trash can and started walking west again.

“Where are you going?” Anita asked.

“Coldstone!”

It has been several months now since this incident, and obviously people like the stuff if it is still business (especially in this negative degree weather). But damn, Berry Chill is a whole other level of nastiness that I never want to experience ever again.

The title is Hatchet Vs. Genitals: BME Pain Olympics

Here is my reaction:

You can view it for yourself at the following address… you must copy and paste it because I don’t want your misery on my shoulders! http://www.timetopuke.com/index/watch.php?vid=hvg

I spent my New Years with my close friend Jenny. We had dinner and went to a house party in Lincoln Park. It had its odd yuppie moments but Jenny, being the Jewish Miley Cyrus she is, pretended to mingle and had Jello-shots and gave dance lessons to drunk former frats who were too scared to ask for her number. I mean, Jenny has one of the most amazing figures I have ever seen. Yet, she often mistakes the .0355 cm of skin she can pinch off her belly for pregnancy. “I’m not as ‘fit’ as I used to be!” I can’t criticize her. I’m not the marathon man I used to be either. My arms seem to be losing their definition and my stomach makes me cry at night. And I have no problem admitting this. I only have 7 people reading my blog anyway. ;)

So, here is my plan for 200FINE:
1. Write for this blog at least twice a week!
2. Get back in to amazing shape.
3. Become a more of a “Chicago Social”
4. Terrorize the people of this lame city with dancing. I have developed this idea of “dance terrorism” which I think will catch on quickly. More details on that to follow.

So the days are gone where I would just wait for something to happen so that I could write about it. As I have learned since starting this blog, much of the interesting stuff in Chicago is either hidden, exclusive, or stolen, I have to be my own catalyst.

This shall be rather interesting.

Meanwhile, I discovered this musician on YouTube. She presented herself as a legitimate artist, and I got all excited and then… um, well….

Just watch the video.

First to hit the runway was The School of the Art Institute Chicago. Known for their overly conceptual work, the collections presented were well tailored and “interesting”. Tyler Coughlin presented an explosive fireball of clothes that looked like satanic Halloween costumes. Adorned with sharp red, enameled gold, and jet black the variety of his collection seemed limited and didn’t have the wearability that the common folk long for. On the complete opposite end, Moriko Golden showcased a softer palette of earth tones and funk that drew inspiration from the mystery of gardens. Each piece had a story that was related to mother nature and was tastefully executed. Her models did not wear shoes, which was a powerful statement as most of the designers insisted on using heels to support their work. At times during the beginning of the show, one could feel a sudden jolt of confusion when the garments appeared on stage. When Min Jeong Ko presented her collection of scraps it definitely reemphasized SAIC’s tendency to choose concept over aesthetic.

The showstopper was perhaps Columbia College who was able to tone down concept to appease the audiences. Cute skirts, luxurious evening gowns, hot denim, and unbelievable footwear made is seem like these students were better prepared for the business of fashion. Liz Klimek presented a lavender sundress with budding pink and yellow flowers trimming it and it received the first applause of the night; a kick in the face to the misunderstood SAIC. It happened again throughout Yuka Tekada’s presentation. She proved her genius with a very witty use of lace and purple fabric. A conservative high-waisted plaid skirt, with rocker black lace gloves oooo’d as couture purple and brown business skirt and top awed. Her clothing was both fresh and contemporary, leaving many to wonder when they could purchase. Columbia was not all glory that night. Reginald Ilagen managed to provide the tackiness for the evening; a cliché collection of black dresses with leopard print. Although his draping technique was interesting, and his silhouettes professional, it did not encourage the same level of amazement or adventure that the designers had before him. One might suggest that Ilagen perhaps should have gone first for the evening.

The International Acadmey of Design & Technology had a few good pieces come down the runway. Fraley Le who had a natural ability to experiment with the female form. She took risks, especially in one garment were a dress had a detailed exaggeration at the hips, which might have been ill fitting but looked absolutely amazing on the model. It was clear that her vision on the collection was an interpretation of the safe “little black dress”. But the concepts of her classmates were messy and had a noticeable ego.

Once Columbia had wrapped up, the show went down hill. And it was a mighty big hill.

The Illinois Institute of Art showcased a collection of boxy and poorly executed work. It was embarrassing to watch. The clothing did not fit and was not innovative in its presentation. Common things like plaid pants or the over used “flower-as-blouse” seemed like these students allowed too many things to inspire them. At times there were hopeful moments as the models first stepped on to the runway. But the optimism was ruined by clothing falling off, string flapping around, or the apparent discomfort of the model attempting to make the garment look good. Adriana Gonzalez was mildly impressive with her conceptual work of sienna grey gowns. But it begs the question, “What are you in school for?”

In all, the fashion show was a success in it’s attempt to convey Chicago as a fashion capital. There were a few moments of annoyance, like the added finale of the “Make Me a Model” search where one of the runway models won an official contract, which cheapened the night. But events like this are absolutely necessary to redefine Chicago’s ability to be an art center.

 

As I crossed the dangerous puddles on the sidewalks, I found myself in the midst of children rushing to class.
They were aspiring adults:
In their miniature designer raincoats, tiny umbrellas, and pint sized galoshes.
I remembered what it was like to be 6 and important…
Or so I thought until I looked at the ground beneath me, and saw this strange pattern of squares and numbers…

1 through 9 in 9 squares.
2 and 3, and.. 7 and 8 paired together, the rest in a single row.
“What the hell?” I thought.
Blue squares, pink squares, yellow squares, and a green base at the end.
For a moment, time stopped. I seriously stood there in the rain trying to figure this out.

“Um… It’s hopscotch.” A friendly woman with a bouncy troll attached to her right hand explained.
I started to laugh, and jumped back to reality and on my way to the train.

I should have known what that was.
I used to be bouncy.

But that was a long time ago.
A time when I didn’t have to think about cooking.
A time when a hard days work was cleaning my room for five dollars a week.
A time when performing the tootsie roll decided whether you were cool or a fool.

A time when I didn’t know what a broken heart felt like.
Those don’t ever heal, do they?

I love it when it rains.

Every morning, if it is a normal morning, I give great thought to what I will wear. This is a habit that I have had since age 5 when I was deemed old enough by the mums to pick out my own clothes and put them on.

Yet every normal morning, I walk outside to find myself alone. No one is speaking to me. No one bothered to prepare. This is a typical day in Chicago, a land where few people think of clothing as a form of expression. The dress of the city is as expressive as a turtle. Emotionless, mute, and bored.

My judgment does not come without justification. This past year I have had Mayor Daley beat the idea of “Chicago as a Fashion Capitol” into my head. But something does not seem right. Does Chicago lack the history? Did the great fire really put an end to what could have been this great fashion Mecca? I do not believe that the city’s history is relevant. I would dare say that most people here are lazy. Why would you buy pants that stop at the ankle or sagged on top of your shoes? Because you are lazy. Why would you attempt to wear high heels if you were not properly trained to do so? Yeah, chick. You missed orientation.

Wearing clothing is indeed an active art form, a scientific conglomerate of ideas about yourself and the image of you. I do not write this to pass criticism on “Joe the Plumber” who could give two shits about what he is wearing… (pun intended) but to present an argument to the discriminatory shopper; the person who believes that he or she has a keen eye for fashion. They have the money to purchase and the time to browse so I have been a little confused about this decision making process. People in Chicago aim to look average.

As I walk to work every week through the financial district, that point hits even harder. You have highly paid business men wearing suits that do not fit. They do not fit. They do not fit. Now, if buying a suit proved to be a challenge I could understand the assembly of pawns marching down LaSalle and Adams in their balloon pants and clown jackets but there are tons of shops, dedicated to suiting men, throughout the loop and downtown. And it does not stop here, even in “trendy” neighborhoods like Lincoln Park or even Wicker Park, young people indulge in visual torture. In Lincoln, it seems appropriate to go out in Birkenstocks and an oversized collar shirt suffocated by a sweater. In Wicker Park, where everyone is too cool for their mommas, skinny jeans and oversized glasses are the dress code, no exceptions. We will forget the fact that skinny jeans require a certain type of legs and that the glasses should fit the shape of your face, because those are details and Chicago does not like details.

And even I have fallen victim to this laziness. I do not have many normal mornings in Chicago anymore. When there is effort I find myself overdressed in the environment and uncomfortable. When there is no effort I feel sick to my stomach. I avoid my reflection and thank god that I can spend most of my day in workout clothes because I work in fitness, and that is my lazy excuse. But I most admit that recently I have been feeling more empowered with my decisions to dress up. Clothing is the book cover of a very complex and ravishing tale. Why cheapen it with thoughtless choices.

And speaking of cheap, currently, Macy’s has a special department in it’s clothing stores that features the garments of current Chicago designers. These designers live and work out of Chicago and with this exception only sell their work in private boutiques. I took an opportunity to view some dresses and blouses, Macy’s of course has a very exclusive (AKA limited and boring) selection. Pardon my frankness, but I wondered how many privileged white folk it took to stitch this vomit together. It was offensive.

Mayor Daley has a better chance of hosting the Olympics three times in a row than he does turning this pile into a fashion center. It just won’t happen. The talented student designers are moving to bigger cities, and the city could not handle the demand of production because there are no textile factories. More importantly, if the people do not want it, you can’t give it to them.

Chicago is lazy...

Chicago keeps its secrets swept loosely under an Indian rug. The rich colors and patterns there to distract, so you do not dare peek underneath. But how much effort does it take to ignore the giant lumps bulging from the floor.

I’ve tripped on this rug too many times. I’m starting to just say things.. aloud…. without considering the consequences.

I was walking around downtown yesterday in my typical winter workout sweats and coat. I approached the edge of the side walk where a stretched-face blond gave me a “your-not-worthy” look, rolled her eyes, and clinched onto her Midwestern hubby (noted by the wedding band and ill-fitting suit pants that were bunching at the bottom of his Steve Madden Impostor Collection Shoes).

I took a moment to understand why she would be so rude. Why would she be that obvious about it? Did she think I was going to mug her?

I examined the couple.

And without dropping a beat, I said, “You two look like siblings. That’s kind of gross.”

Hubby: “Yeah? Well, fuck you!”

Me: “And you’re swingers!? [Vomit Gesture] Tourists…”

And I laughed down the street. I was quite loud as I had Britney booming in my ears, but I could still hear the shocked couple that couldn’t believe I just one upped them like that.

As I walked into my building the security guard asked me what was so funny. I told him and he asked me to explain what a swinger was. I had no response. Someone found a way to shut me up, I couldn’t exactly find the words to describe perverts to a senior citizen. I didn’t want to be disrespectful. I have class. I would never go out of my way to make someone feel awkward or inferior.

It makes you wonder who the real apes are in this Jungle.

Privileged shouldn't be synonymous with inhumane.

You know those microwaveable brownies that come in a bowl and take 40 seconds to cook? Well, let me tell you something about those things. When it says allow to cool for two minutes, you do that shit! Don’t you dare think you are above the law. I learned a very valuable lesson. I took the thing out and the smell started seducing me. I rushed to get the packet of frosting open, but the nozzle was too narrow. So I was squeezing it intensely in a downward motion…

And went straight into this hot bowl of molten chocolate delciousness! I screamed so loud. My knuckels felt like I had scraped them on concrete or your momma’s face when she doesn’t shave. It hurt me so much. My door was open, and someone walked by and was like “Dude, are you okay?” After catching the holy ghost and doing jig with tears in my eyes I yelled, “No! I just fisted my brownie!!!!!!!!” I just fisted my brownie.

Fisting Chocolate… Get it? HA!

No… my day is not over KEEP READING.

So my mom calls me about 9 times today, and sends me a text message “You need to call me.” I thought to myself, oh no something happened, why on earth would my mom call me so many times within thirty minutes if it wasn’t an emergency? What a dumb question… I have known this woman for 8 years.

So I called back with one hand on the phone and the other under running water. My mom then takes it upon herself to inform me of a recent study of the rise of testicular cancer in men in their early 20s. Are you kidding? “Quintin, this is not game.” “Mom I do not want to have this conversation right now.” “Boy, this is serious! Shana knows how to check for breast cancer, and you need to know how to check for such things too. Stop being immature and listen.” So I listened to my mom talk about balls. My balls to be exact. Granted she does work in Urology but who wants to think about a cist growing on their cage. Where the babies come from?!?! Not me. But I guess it’s great to know that I will not be pulling a Lance Armstrong (or Tom Green) anytime soon.

Oh no this note is not over… you must keep reading. And to top it all off, Quintin had to call someone out today. And he called them out like it was the first day of Black History Month. I got on the elevator today, on my way to work to teach kickboxing. So, I’m riding it with another student, carrying on a nice and friendly conversation. When all of a sudden the elevator stops on the 8th floor. This girl walks her cheerful self on the lift, head down, looking into her beautiful i-pod nano screen like she’s the queen of the building. And then…. her heiness says… “Hit 3.” This was the day I decided to stand right next to the buttons. “3″ She repeated herself. Apparently I looked confused. I sort of was confused because I had never seen this little white girl before a day in my life. I hit 6. She gave me a look. Doors open. I told her to get off my elevator. Now. NO. NAAAAAAAAAoooooooooWWWWAAAAAAH…….. My elevator friend started cracking up as the female found heself picking up her face on the 6th floor. And because I got that awesome Theatre degree from Loyola, I put a little icing on that cake by standing in the dead center of the elevator with a “Now, what wottie?!” look on my face as the doors slowly closed.

So what did we learn today?

1) Follow the directions for anything involving chocolate.

2) Cancer is the ultimate betrayer.

3) Black people have hereditary Post-traumatic Stress Disorder resulting from slavery and it is not a good idea to induce flashbacks.

4) Knowing your angles and finding your light will make any altercation work in your favor. Thanks Tyra! (I mean… Loyola?)

They are going to have the cutest black babies!!!

I gave an honest look of confusion to Charlé, who responded with the look of “Oh, no these bitches didn’t”.

And then we heard it again, repeated as if we had misunderstood.

“WEEEEED! You Have any WEEEEED”.

A gaggle of super friendly white girls (who were obviously underclassmen from Northwestern) were hunting for the herb, and what better place to find it than the blackest part of Rogers Park.

I have dreadlocks, and Charlé has that hairpiece, so we clearly look like drug dealers, or perhaps the brown tint in our skin gave that away?

My jaw dropped. And my jaw NEVER drops. The last time that happened was when O-Town performed at the Miss Teen USA Pageant Show, and that was because I was legitimately shocked. (I mean how could they? But that is a tangent not worth getting into.)

This was a DIFFERENT type of shock. I gave a nervous laugh and a quick frown of offense as Charlé noted the the sitch with her trademark, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

We walked into the store. I lost my appetite, and Charlé found herself settling for Extra Hot Chips as opposed to the Regular Hot Chips she had grew to love and adore. We both were a little disappointed, but we were all too familiar with the routine of just “dealing” with situations like this. You encounter someone behaving in a negative racist fashion and have no choice but to pull a Martin Luther, and react passively. The reaction you feel you should have, regardless of the justifications, becomes somewhat pointless because it doesn’t guarantee that the culprit will change his or her ways.

So whose at fault?

The black people who are selling drugs in the neighborhood?

Or the white students who honestly believe its okay to shop for marijuana by yelling at people in predominately black neighborhoods like their pets doing doing tricks?

I spent too much time thinking about an answer for this. And then I realized that I should be thankful that this happened to us.

Because now I know WHY I wanted to get a degree,

now I know why I articulate and use diction when I speak,

now I know why I spend my days trying to better myself,

now I know why I fight for an impossible career,

now I know why I choose to not be another statistic.

I’ve spent most of my childhood being an outcast and not having very many friends because I wasn’t black enough. And I have a lot of friends with similar stories… One, I think we should work towards redefining what it means to be black (or any race for that matter) for future generations, and two, we should work towards understanding racism.

Many people give racism an evil connotation as if being racist is satanic. It’s not. Racism has many different forms. Here, it was a very ignorant form. On my facebook profile, it is a comedy routine. On our campuses, it’s mostly not understanding how to treat people equally. If you have never been around different groups of people, no one should expect you NOT to treat them differently. You are American, and if you were not raised in an environment where everyone is viewed as equal you either develop or learn ways to deal with diversity.

I am discovering that some people want to live in LALA land. The magical place where racism doesn’t apply to you and so long as you don’t aggressively call someone a name or infringe on their civil rights you are in the clear. Well, in reality, these are the people who are politicians overlooking the less fortunate. These are the people in exclusive clicks who dare not venture out. These are the people who believe that dating someone out of their race is a fetish. These are the people putting weed drive-bys on the map.

The road goes both ways. People of all races have difficulty dealing with diversity.

So, please, for the love of Hot Chips and O-Town:

- Know where you stand.

- Be conscience of how you might offend or hurt people.

- Take responsibility, change or evaluate, and move on.

Notice! I am not saying NOT TO BE RACIST. But merely suggesting that you own up to your actions.

Those girls are going to pay what they owe!

Pay close attention to the end.  I almost died.

This next video is pretty hilarious…. Marketing was unable to get the rights to use a hip hop song… so they “improvised” and everyone, including I, forgot the routine that was choreographed in 10 minutes.