Clooney’s The American, Possibly the Worst of 2010

As I sit here today typing, I am a litte disturbed about the events of this past weekend. What seemed to be a typical happy evening of “chilling” soon turned into confusing torture with the decision to go to the movies. Luckily me and my buddy Charon made it out alive.

The obvious choice was to see George Clooney in The American, a spy thriller with really cool previews. We even paid for an overpriced feast of nachos and ice cream to celebrate our excitement about seeing this film. Once inside the theatre we noticed that we were not the only people looking forward to the two hours of espionage galore. The first 20 minutes were great…. but that was all. L I T E R A L L Y.

I would insert a spoiler aler warning here, but to be honest there is absolutely nothing to spoil. The film has a small group of characters, none of them developed, almost NO dialogue in the film but rather scenes of Clooney working out shirtless, assembling weapons, and occasionally chasing the “Swedes” that are after him… but no one knows why. He does perform oral sex on a woman for an extended period of time. Twice. I think.

He does die at the end. And as soon as that happened, I can’t tell you the last time I have ever seen a group of strangers unite in complaining.

The film is the James Bond version of Castaway with the riddling nature of Inception (which I believe to be the best film of 2010).

There is no plot. It was as if the editors only had 40 minutes of footage to create a 2 hour drama. And those were already some slim pickings… To make things worst… there is no one to root for. I’ll give anyone a crip 5 dollar bill that can explain what the hell happened in this film. I didn’t fall asleep for fear of missing something. I do recall a lot of blood, but can’t even tell you why the injuries had to happen.

I’m only posting this as a warning, but apparently critics and the box office think differently. If you saw the film, please share your thoughts below.